Pushing
May 20th, 2012 | adoption parenting
I don’t know what I thought the “pushing, testing” stage would look like, but I didn’t think it would involve pushing the cat off the balcony.
Week One
May 13th, 2012 | daily life takes a village
A full week of fulltime foster parenting.
Quiet Before It All Changes: My Last “Waiting” Post
May 3rd, 2012 | adoption gay dads waiting and wanting kids
What a crazy system! I’m not sure I know a better way, but having “visits” and “overnights” and then taking the kids back to their current foster home just seems to upset them, and us. Change is hard, but now that it’s clear it’s going to go, my thought is we should just do it and get started on our life.
There Aren’t Words
April 28th, 2012 | adoption
How do you explain the brutal and unexplainable? Can emotion, intuition, and love help us heal from things that should completely crush us?
The Good News Keeps Coming
April 27th, 2012 | adoption waiting and wanting kids
The placement date was set, about 3 weeks away, and we are set to do our first overnight tonight. Hooray! Oh wait, the placement date needs to be moved up two weeks. They’re moving in next weekend, unless they’re not. And we’re going to be their forever family. Unless something weird happens in the legal system, so we can’t quite say that, but kind of.
Wait Over! We Meet The Kids!
April 17th, 2012 | adoption holidays and celebrations waiting and wanting kids
I’ve been in a happy shock, as well as a whirling-dervish of childproofing and preparation. We’ve met our kids! It’s been a blur, but here are the high points.
The Camping Box
March 29th, 2012 | daily life holidays and celebrations
What a lovely bittersweet feeling to dig out the camping box before our recent, disastrous camping trip. The charred cookware, chipped plastic plates, and other musty survivors of outdoor adventures past are like a little hope chest. The wishes and dreams of the naturalist, the visions of perfect forest visits and lovely outdoor excitement, and rest.
Is There Still Time to Turn French?
March 14th, 2012 | daily life parenting
After wading through a couple very earnest books on adoption and parent-child attachment, what fun to come across Pamela Druckerman’s Bringing Up Bebe: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting. I love this book!
Loving Someone We’ve Not Yet Met
March 8th, 2012 | adoption waiting and wanting kids
It feels like Spring, and I’m thinking about love.
The Thrill of the Jumble Sale
March 3rd, 2012 | daily life
The Oakland Museum White Elephant sale was just the ticket today: an exciting crush of people stomping through a giant warehouse, celebrating great finds, pawing through toys, furniture, clothes, Christmas decorations, artificial flowers, sporting equipment, and more.
Appreciating Distraction
February 28th, 2012 | parenting
A knockout essay in the NY Times by Hanif Kureishi about the Value of Distraction got me thinking about how our obsession with diagnosing, regularizing, and “optimizing” kids.
A Happy Retraction
February 23rd, 2012 | adoption waiting and wanting kids
We have a tradition in my family. As nerdy, techy, competent guys, the men in my family like like to be right. Often this is useful, because we do tend to know a lot about how electricity, plumbing, and basic mechanics work. But I’ve been known to be sure about things that might be a tiny bit outside my expertise.
Our TV Friends Are Waiting Too
February 16th, 2012 | parenting waiting and wanting kids
OK, guilty. I was checking out Smash this week (will the sensitive brunette or the bombshell blonde be picked to play Marilyn?).
Giving Meaning to Our Wait
February 8th, 2012 | parenting waiting and wanting kids
On the recommendation of a friend I’m reading a fascinating new book, Timothy Wilson’s Redirect: The Surprising New Science of Psychological Change. I also recently saw Our Idiot Brother, and the two have me thinking.
Being a C Student
February 4th, 2012 | daily life parenting waiting and wanting kids
My twice-yearly dental cleanings are an interesting opportunity to feel like a completely mediocre achiever. I don’t think I’m incredibly lazy, or unable to follow directions. OK, I probably don’t brush for the full two minutes each time, but I floss twice a day (always!), and I try the different techniques that have been offered–circular! slower! angle up! count to 6!
Bunk to the Future
January 31st, 2012 | daily life waiting and wanting kids
We took a few down days, to process the adoption that didn’t happen, but then somehow swung back into action.
The Rejection: We Were So Close!
January 25th, 2012 | adoption gay dads waiting and wanting kids
Unfortunately this week a placement we hoped (and had been told) was very likely to happen fell through, for unknown reasons. Hopefully it was because of something positive for the kids like a better placement. Weirdly, we will never know.
While I Was Waiting
January 22nd, 2012 | waiting and wanting kids
As possible placements are floated, and either are or seem more likely, I find myself kicking into high gear. But with nothing to do. Parents expecting babies can put together the crib or pick out stuff, but there’s little useful concrete action we can take until we know more.
It Will Take A Village
January 20th, 2012 | parenting takes a village
I’ve been thinking about all the help we’re going to need when these kids land, and how bad I am at asking for help. What an opportunity this will be!
It Was the Comcast DNS Server!
January 16th, 2012 | daily life waiting and wanting kids
Eureka! Maybe fixing the small stuff is the answer to the big picture?