What a crazy system! I’m not sure I know a better way, but having “visits” and “overnights” and then taking the kids back to their current foster home just seems to upset them, and us. Change is hard, but now that it’s clear it’s going to go, my thought is we should just do it and get started on our life.

This is my old life, and things are about to change

But of course we’re not in charge, so we do what we’re told. Just when I’m adjusted to these little lives, they’re gone again, and I’m up at 6, unable to sleep, so aware of the incredible quiet of a day without any little stomping feet. This is my old life, and things are about to change. It’s sweet, precious, and surreal. I can run to the store or do work without anyone to answer to–the freedom feels great!

But increasingly, as I bond to the kids, these quiet days I feel like I left something important on the bus. Should I be able to run out for kid clothes and a better gate for the bottom of the stairs, all footloose and fancy free? It’s great to get it done, but it’s not my life anymore. Or in a few days it’s not my life.

We have another “visit” and overnight, then they have one final day at their old place. Sunday we go to pick them up, and become the official foster parents. This means we’ve learned their last names (it sounds crazy but we spent a month with these kids without knowing their surname, I guess privacy). This means we need preschool, and signed up for kindergarten in the fall, and doctors and dentists.

It means my “waiting and wanting” posts are done. I want these kids, and now I have them. Is there anything more terrifying than a lifelong dream fulfilled? Thank you, universe, for answering this prayer. The next chapter is about to begin!