Labor, and Rest

2017-09-04T22:12:19+00:00 September 4th, 2017|parenting|

As an anxious person, I spend a lot of time trying to calm myself (and others) down. As a loving person I long to be in synch with and connected to people. I watch with envy those who seem calm and at ease with themselves, and strive to make myself that way too, but I'm [...]

Notes on (Family) Camp

2017-08-07T06:47:22+00:00 August 6th, 2017|holidays and celebrations|

We spent a week at a camp for GLBT families July 29 to August 6. Yes, 8 days of camp. Here are some notes and photos. Saturday Arrived with ash falling from the sky and the sun red from smoke. Hot as hades. They said a fire burning South of Quincy wasn’t moving this way; [...]

Remembering Finnegan, 2001 – 2017

2017-07-24T16:31:53+00:00 July 24th, 2017|daily life|

Finnegan was 16 and a half years old, which is quite up there for a Jack Russell Terror Terrier. Most of his life he was everything you’d expect: feisty and full of bravado, snuggly and in need of comfort. Jay says that as a puppy Finnegan charged out into the back yard, barking fiercely and [...]

Birth Mom

2017-07-13T10:21:06+00:00 July 12th, 2017|adoption|

This is the story of a confusing but important relationship. She created two of the best things that have happened to me, my kids. She gave them their lives, and perhaps some of their biggest life challenges. Her own life has been difficult as she tried to overcome addiction and other problems. Pregnant with our [...]

My Children Far, and Near

2017-07-01T08:35:18+00:00 July 1st, 2017|adoption, parenting|

We're just back from a week at family camp. It was our eighth year, and there's much to love. For one, the corny entertainments. There are singalongs and sketches and silliness that benefit from being performed in such an improbable spot, tucked into the trees in the Sierra Mountain wilderness. There's barely electricity, but these [...]

Summer Fever Dream

2017-06-08T15:14:21+00:00 June 8th, 2017|daily life|

We've needed rain so much, and the Spring delivered. Rain, and rain, and more rain. We're headed into the dry season but the plants are gloriously happy. The pollen shimmers in the warming air, and as the kids' summer break speeds towards me I find myself in a strangely frantic lethargy. There's so much to [...]

Don’t Just Do Something, Stand There

2017-05-29T21:29:45+00:00 May 29th, 2017|daily life|

I've been worried about Dad. He's having progressive short-term memory loss. He's feeling woozy and dizzy. Of course he says he's fine, but he's not the most communicative person on the planet, so I worried there was more. Living half a continent away it's hard to tell. I arrived on a recent visit in high [...]

Saying No to the Spring Fling

2017-04-13T15:45:35+00:00 April 13th, 2017|holidays and celebrations|

The speeding up of life has been well documented, but it continues to take me by surprise. Each annual event that comes along, Jay says "I can't believe it's time for that already, it seems like it was just a few months ago." Somewhere in a pile on my desk is the Haggadah Jay's dad created [...]


2017-04-05T21:29:40+00:00 April 5th, 2017|daily life|

Jay's aunt Leona Cohen passed this week. She was 91. The end was expected, but then it didn't come for awhile. She rallied and had a good period.  It felt like a surprise when she died on Sunday, but I guess death always feels like a surprise, unbelieveable even as it is unavoidable. The funeral [...]

Flu Dog

2017-05-18T14:43:52+00:00 March 17th, 2017|daily life|

I'm not sure about where a cold ends and the flu begins, but there's a pretty bright line when I stop making dinner and take to bed. My husband and kids were on their own for parts of this week while I've been in an altered state. It's a great time to have a dog. Even our new, bad dog [...]

Not Just a Sick Day

2017-05-18T14:43:57+00:00 March 11th, 2017|adoption|

No matter how routine life gets, adoption has some special spikes in the road that are as predictable as they are surprising. I doubt I'll ever be fully ready, but I'm getting better at it. All was calm, almost peaceful aside from the hectic pace of school, work, life. Kindergarten and 4th Grade rumbling along in [...]


2017-05-18T14:43:57+00:00 February 27th, 2017|daily life|

There's been plenty to have the winter blues about, this winter. Scary, out of control politics. Divided country. Too many dirty dishes, my daughter's book report is due, and it's not clear what's for dinner. I try to keep perspective, try to stay grateful for every wonderful thing I have. But there have been weeks, [...]

Not Ready For This

2017-05-18T14:43:59+00:00 January 14th, 2017|adoption|

The horror movies that scared me most when young (back when I watched such things) were not the "jump out" gotcha movies, but rather the ones where there's a slow-dawning realization that you've missed something important. Invasion of the Body Snatchers is the classic. By the time you realize your girlfriend was replaced by a vicious [...]

The House that Love Built

2017-05-18T14:44:01+00:00 January 4th, 2017|holidays and celebrations|

I was somewhat alarmed about wrangling my kids through the wedding of my dear friends Kenny and Paul. Not that I wasn't thrilled about the event. And not that we weren't ready. We had the dress up outfits ready. They love their uncles and were excited to go. But they're also in a feisty anti-authority [...]

The Darkest Night

2017-05-18T14:44:02+00:00 December 21st, 2016|daily life|

Sometimes I feel at odds with the whole world, in ways large and small. They sell toothpaste now in these great little containers. It's revolutionary, no gross mis-squeezed tubes, just a simple, easy-to-use bottle. But a trip to Target reveals that almost nobody in the consumer universe agrees with me. The oldstyle tubes in boxes take up [...]