Mother’s Day Blues
May 9th, 2013 | adoption
For twenty plus years, Mother’s Day has been bittersweet for me. It’s lovely to remember Mom, but because she’s gone it’s also a lonely holiday. I help celebrate my wonderful step-mom and friends who are moms. But my mom I celebrate privately, internally.
The Great Leap Forward
April 30th, 2013 | adoption
Huge news, the hearing was today, and the judge terminated the mother’s parental rights and set adoption into our family as the “permanent plan” for the kids. Now the adoption phase begins. This means a new social worker and I’m not sure what else, but it sounds like mostly dotting the I’s and getting everything in order before the finalization.
Some Positive Points for Us
April 15th, 2013 | adoption parenting
We just switched our daughter from a “star/sticker” system to a “points/rewards” plan, and the difference is dramatic, in her and in me. I’ve decided it’s time to award myself some points! But first I should explain.
The Deliciousness of Normal
April 5th, 2013 | adoption
I’m not surprised, but proud as can be to report that the kids’ developmental assessments, required as part of the foster care adoption process, showed them to be completely age appropriate in their motor, social, and academic skills.
Once More Into the Breach, Dear Friends
April 3rd, 2013 | daily life parenting
I never imagined how often day-to-day parenting would feel like the battle scene that opens Saving Private Ryan.
And Another Delay
March 19th, 2013 | adoption waiting and wanting kids
Our five-year-old has a reliable reaction to any surprise in her routine.Something causes us to reverse activity 1 and activity 2. The place is closed. They’re out of her favorite X, Y, or Z. She is not pleased. Sometimes she puts on a grim face and powers through it. Sometimes there’s wailing. But it’s never fun.
Ready for Fatherhood: I Did Not Steal This
February 28th, 2013 | adoption
We had three social workers visiting the kids one afternoon this week, and I was a mess. I realize that it’s time to deal with my authority issues.
The Joy of Water
February 26th, 2013 | daily life
One of the great joys of growing up in the Southwest was swimming. There were quite a few pools in our middle-class neighborhood and we were lucky to have one. Most summers I was in the water nearly every day. There were pool parties and Marco Polo, cake and ice cream for my brother’s birthday, sparklers on the fourth of July.
2-Year-Old Lady MacBeth
February 12th, 2013 | parenting
Of all the tantrum-inducing opportunities life affords, I could never have predicted that our terrible two-year old would focus so much on hand washing.
Loving “Outdoor World” and Other Fake Places
February 2nd, 2013 | daily life
I’ve driven by the Bass Pro Shops Outdoor World megastore on the way to the Sierras several times, but only last week did I stop. Wow! Now I’ll never not stop. I didn’t realize it’s not really a sporting goods store, but a themepark.
First Snow
January 29th, 2013 | parenting
Just the thought of it gave me chills. It thrilled and excited everyone who heard about it. We were taking the kids up to the Sierras to see their first snow.
Essay on Camp
January 19th, 2013 | daily life parenting
No, this isn’t about Susan Sontag. It’s about how the kids change so gradually, even glacially, and suddenly something blindsides me and everything feels like it’s happening so fast.
Waiting
January 10th, 2013 | adoption waiting and wanting kids
In what seemed like the endless time between being approved as foster dads and getting matched with our kids, I yearned so much for the wait to be over. I thought, as I always do, that this “next thing” would be the beginning of a new life.
Head Cold Christmas
December 26th, 2012 | holidays and celebrations
Christmas was not the disaster I’d prepared for, it was a different disaster altogether. I was ready for emotional upset from the kids, remembering other homes and Christmases, big drama. They did fine.
“I decided I love you”
December 15th, 2012 | daily life
Our daughter was acting funny when we got home yesterday.
Getting to Yes
November 26th, 2012 | adoption parenting
Our angelic “terrible 2”-year-old had a big breakthrough this week. He learned to say yes!
I’ve Got the Music in Me
November 18th, 2012 | adoption holidays and celebrations
I grew up in Austin, Texas, live music capital of the country, so it was humbling to realize a few years ago that by far I’d seen local toddler band The Sippy Cups live more times than any other band my whole life. In fact, I had to admit they were perhaps my all time favorite. I might not win coolest taste in music, but I know what I like. The 6 or 7 times I took my godson to their shows were magical, and unlike adult music, I was never self conscious dancing to the beat. Being an adult in a mosh pit of 4-year-olds brings some advantages.
Interview with Adoption Blogger Meg
November 13th, 2012 | adoption
As part of the Open Adoption Interview project, this week bloggers who talk about adoption are interviewing each other. Here’s my interview of Meg, who writes FourWildBlueberries.com. She and her husband adopted two adorable kids at birth, and they maintain a relationship with the birth mom. Meg writes about adoption, family life, and amazing cooking and craft projects she gets up to (and takes fun photos of).
Fast, Fastly Forward
November 8th, 2012 | daily life holidays and celebrations
Halloween came and went, in a pumpkin-pulpy, sugary blur. The kids seemed stunned that we’d just knock on neighbors’ doors, asking for sweets. I guess it is strange. But so much of their new life mush seem strange to them!
Unappetizing Choices
October 13th, 2012 | daily life holidays and celebrations
I knew there was no winning this one: flu shot was not going to be popular. The sooner I told her what we were doing Saturday morning, the more the anxiety and upset could build. But the longer I waited, the worse the surprise would be.