Four Years

2016-03-27T20:51:55+00:00 March 27th, 2016|adoption|

We just saw Laurie Anderson's lovely documentary Heart of a Dog, about losing her mother and her Rat Terrier Lola Bell, and obliquely about losing Lou Reed. It's really about memory and loss and the strange business of being alive. Anderson tells this amazing story about a long hospital stay when she was a kid, and while [...]

She Doesn’t Like Surprises

2017-05-18T14:44:25+00:00 February 29th, 2016|adoption|

You can know someone for a long time and still not get it. Last week I picked Shayla up from school, headed to an appointment. I'm sure we'd talked about it, the time, the plan, everything. But from the dark cloud on her face I could tell she was not expecting me. "Poppa is supposed to [...]

Two Books

2017-05-18T14:44:30+00:00 February 19th, 2016|daily life|

As a somewhat introverted person, my different roles sometimes feel like parallel lives. I'm a father, a son, a husband. A web producer, geek, proud member of the PTA. I'm a gay man, a political moderate (not easy!) and have my level 2 Reiki certification. But perhaps my most solitary, private role is reader. Absorbed in a book, I [...]

Death and Cookies

2017-05-18T14:44:34+00:00 February 5th, 2016|daily life|

The girl scout industrial complex landed this week and there was nowhere to hide. Of course it's my own fault. Last year Shayla got excited and we sold lots of cookies. When the Troop needed a Cookie Manager, it seemed harmless enough. Why not store a few cookies in the garage and help out? Fast forward: [...]

Getting My Walk

2017-05-18T14:44:39+00:00 January 18th, 2016|daily life|

The rains keep coming, and if it's not the full solution to our drought, it's a step in the right direction. Besides, I love the rain. Nothing like a few hours of quiet, reading the paper, enjoying the rain outside... Oh. Maybe I mean I loved the rain before kids (BK). I'm sure even BK I [...]

The Hard Work of Good Fun

2017-05-18T14:44:40+00:00 January 3rd, 2016|holidays and celebrations, parenting|

I laughed out loud to read my friend Whitney's caption under a delightful movie of her child sledding in snow. "This video is misleading," she wrote, "Today has not been all fun and games." While she's always enjoyable to read (and her blog 510 Families is an East Bay must for parents), my delight was also because I'd [...]

Happy 2016: The Cheesy Holiday Letter Goes Online

2017-05-18T14:44:42+00:00 December 4th, 2015|holidays and celebrations|

[Thanks to Nicolas Smith for the great pics, more at the bottom.] I was carrying the Halloween box up from the garage, and Jay seemed dazed. "It seems more like last month when we had this stuff out, not last year." The years cycle more and more quickly for me, like riding in that horrible/delightful gravity-defying cylinder where I was both [...]

You Can’t Go Home

2017-05-18T14:44:46+00:00 November 29th, 2015|daily life, holidays and celebrations|

We had a lovely Thanksgiving visit with Grandpa Ted and Grandma Mary, packed with adventure. We joined 40,000 in a downpour for the Austin "Turkey Trott," the one mile kid version, raising funds for local housing and food services. The kids dug for genuine Texas dinosaur bone casts buried beneath a giant sand pit at the Nature [...]

Goodbye Mr. Bubbles

2015-11-06T20:31:21+00:00 November 6th, 2015|daily life|

As Woody Allen put it, "If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans." Our little baby rat, Mr Bubbles, rescued from our psychopathic cat at maybe a week old, eyes still closed, improbably stayed alive, fed by hand with milk from a dropper. He was thriving. Don't fear, he's alive and well. But [...]

The Lady Makeup

2017-05-18T14:44:49+00:00 November 4th, 2015|gay dads, holidays and celebrations|

We were almost ready for trick-or-treating, but I could tell Shayla wanted to ask something. Her hesitation made it seem unlikely I'd be able to say yes. (No, we can't take the pet rat with us. No, you can't unstuff the couch cushons and use the fabric for your outfit. No, no, no....) I was startled [...]

Animal Story

2017-05-18T14:44:50+00:00 October 22nd, 2015|adoption, daily life, parenting|

In my (priviledged) experience, you have to look pretty hard in Berkeley to find somebody who'll object to gays, or two guys raising children, polytheistic and vegetarian. (We're actually omnivores, that last bit just an example). I don't think my expressive dance therapy, Ojai psychic, or Reiki training could manage a rolled eye for at [...]

Getting Over the Hump

2017-05-18T14:44:55+00:00 October 11th, 2015|daily life|

I don't know if it's because I tend toward the depressive, or if it's just a human thing, but there's a moment early in most projects when I feel pretty sure it won't be worth it. Today it was getting the bike racks on the car, and the bikes onto those, the kids into the car, the car [...]

Flying, Prepared

2017-05-18T14:44:58+00:00 October 1st, 2015|daily life, parenting|

I thought I'd be one of those prepared dads, with a little pocket screwdriver, duct tape, some crayons and a bunch of grapes at the ready. But I often fail to have even the essentials. This is compounded by the new math. Getting two kids to one school at the same time sounds easier than getting two [...]

Having Power

2017-05-18T14:45:00+00:00 September 17th, 2015|daily life|

Yesterday there was rain in the air, and that's a good thing for parched Northern California. But the gutters were choked with leaves, and I'd put off getting up there and dealing with it. I had two hours before my next client call, so I got the ladders and went to work against the elements, sweeping away a million [...]

My Life Not In The Theatre

2017-05-18T14:45:03+00:00 August 18th, 2015|daily life, parenting|

I had such a vision for my family enjoying culture and the arts. I'd get dreamy seeing young kids at the museum, or when friends brought a baby to a party. It gave me a refreshing hope that creative parents can keep their lives going and integrate the kids. If they can do it we can do it, right? Right? [...]