I’m sure it will jinx everything to even write this down. There’s a good chance that my years-long quest will be jeopardized by even thinking this thought. But I believe that Comcast may have, might have, could have… fixed my internet connection.

Deep breath. The little white light on the modem is still solid. So far, so good.

I cannot tell you how much of a drama this has been. I’m on my 5th or 6th modem. They replaced every section of cable, bit by bit. Under the house, house-to-the-pole, redo the connections, boost the signal, mute the signal. No matter what, our super fast internet would be incredible, until it stopped. Sometimes that would be a time or two a day. Unplug and replug the modem, not the end of the world. But in recent months it was as much as 6 to 8 times an hour. Red light flashing, the email won’t send, the document won’t load. I’m trying to run a business, but can’t see my contacts or open the document or download the image. Almost everything I do to make projects happen depends on being connected to the cloud. I started to worry that the modem’s plug might wear out before I did. But it was my rope that was getting frayed.

A guy came out to poke around in April. He put a thingy in the line. Then in early May somebody came and replaced the modem with a new cool-shaped one. It stayed on for 3 hours and I thought all was fixed, but no. The guy on Wednesday replaced a splitter, an old painted one with a new one. Nada.

Finally Friday a guy came, and called 3 other trucks over and the team completely re-routed the line, pole to a new place on the house, grounded to the power box, right into the router location for a shorter, better connection. They peeled off ancient old wires and reworked the whole deal.

And as of now, early-ish on Saturday, there’s no sign of trouble!

Not. One. Restart.

But a funny thing happened on the way to bliss. I should be throwing a party, or kicking back my heels, or breathlessly checking the connection light, making sure my miracle is true. But instead, I can feel my monkey mind moving on, seeking out new trouble to fret over.

Just like achieving parenthood, a decades-long, heartstoppingly longshot dream, led not to celebration but to disbelief, and then a frenzied search for a preschool, therapist, and zoo membership… well it kind of suggests that reaching your dreams is a perilous point in life. 

So I guess I should take a moment here to feel deeply grateful for my husband, and my kids, and our school, and where we live, and the oak trees, and the cat and the dog, my favorite briefcase, the good kind people all around me whom I love and depend on. 

Yes. Thank you so much. I love you so much. The sun came up this morning and it looks like it’s going to be an amazing day.

But did you see by the street where the succulents don’t seem to be getting enough water? I think the drip sytem might have a problem…