More on Kindergarten
September 2nd, 2012 | adoption gay dads
It’s becoming clear that our daughter not having a kindergarten assignment is pushing buttons I wasn’t fully aware of.
Our Kindergartener
August 29th, 2012 | adoption daily life
Dropping her off for her first day of kindergarten was a shock. It was sweet, but like a punch in the stomach too.
Appendix A: Vocabulary
August 17th, 2012 | daily life
As of today our two year old has the following words. Is he brilliant or what?
Triumph of the Toddler Bed
August 14th, 2012 | daily life
One lovely, fairly reliable thing about hitting a low spot is that things shift, often right away. (Writing about it helps too!)
But We Are, Blanche
August 11th, 2012 | daily life gay dads
The “no strollers” sign was a wake-up call. We’d managed to Yelp a family-friendly seafood restaurant and then Google Maps our way to it. (Why using simple tools that previously required absolutely no effort is nearly impossible with two kids is a mystery to me, but I swear it’s a real phenomenon.)
Foster Grandparents on the Scene!
August 4th, 2012 | daily life takes a village
My dad and stepmom are in town to meet the kids. It’s been wonderful to connect them to my new family. So primal! It feels strange that they’re “only now” meeting the kids, which shows how huge the last three months have been in my life—years worth of changes in a blink. No wonder I feel like I have whiplash!
Thinking About the Birth Parents
July 26th, 2012 | adoption
This week comes the hearing to determine whether the county will stop the reunification services for our kids’ birth mom. It’s the next step toward her parental rights being ended, which will free them for adoption.
Adult Conversation!
July 20th, 2012 | daily life takes a village
I stole away to bookgroup this week, leaving Jay and a friend watching the kids. What a pleasure to be with grownups, following the customs and traditions that until a few months ago were my primary ways of communicating and being with others.
Asynchronous Bonding
July 14th, 2012 | adoption daily life
It’s my ridiculous and persistent belief (or hope) that everyone is feeling just the way I am. Liking the same movies, digging the same books, feeling the same way about how the planet is going. The partner, of course, has it worst—all these dreams for enjoying everything together. Impossible, but unshakable.
Ready for Joy
July 11th, 2012 | daily life parenting
Can I just say, I’m a little sick of hearing myself complain about my kids?
Ghosts in the Nursery
July 8th, 2012 | adoption parenting
I’m getting a lot of T Berry Brazelton’s Touchpoints second-hand from Jay, who’s loving these books. It’s fair to say we’ve both been shocked by the depth and intensity of our own stuff that’s coming up as we learn to parent these kids.
Life Should Always Be Like Family Camp
June 27th, 2012 | adoption daily life
It’s a simple request, that I come to again and again in this life. Can’t it always be like this? Can’t I hold onto this one lovely movement and keep everything just the same?
I Need a Vacation
June 14th, 2012 | adoption
We continue to settle in, test each other out, and find our patterns. It’s going well. But I need a break!
Learning to Shut Up
June 6th, 2012 | daily life parenting
I think it’s a great skill to be able to mirror, reflect back, and participate in the conversation. My verbal abilities have gotten me this far in life, and I think I’m good at listening to and talking with the kids. But sometimes I really need to shut up.
Finding Our Rhythm
June 3rd, 2012 | daily life parenting
My mother had a rule while travelling: if an attraction had a star in the AAA Tourbook, we had to stop. Why would we leave a town without seeing everything the editors thought was worth a star? We moved quick, and we saw everything. On a 3- or 4-day trip to the Bay Area in my early teens, we saw Fisherman’s Wharf, Muir Woods, Alcatraz, Berkeley, the wine country, Stanford, The Winchester Mystery House, and Point Reyes. She loved it all. (In tribute to her far-reaching enthusiasms her ashes were scattered in many parts of the country and world, my bit near the lighthouse at Point Reyes.)
Peace
May 24th, 2012 | adoption daily life
There’s nothing like the sleepy, happy quiet that descends after all hell has broken loose, and things are restored. The crying stops, tempers calm down. You can hear small gusts of wind outside, the kids are asleep, and the last purple blue light makes everything through the window magical and gorgeous.
Pushing
May 20th, 2012 | adoption parenting
I don’t know what I thought the “pushing, testing” stage would look like, but I didn’t think it would involve pushing the cat off the balcony.
Week One
May 13th, 2012 | daily life takes a village
A full week of fulltime foster parenting.
Quiet Before It All Changes: My Last “Waiting” Post
May 3rd, 2012 | adoption gay dads waiting and wanting kids
What a crazy system! I’m not sure I know a better way, but having “visits” and “overnights” and then taking the kids back to their current foster home just seems to upset them, and us. Change is hard, but now that it’s clear it’s going to go, my thought is we should just do it and get started on our life.
There Aren’t Words
April 28th, 2012 | adoption
How do you explain the brutal and unexplainable? Can emotion, intuition, and love help us heal from things that should completely crush us?