parenting
The Family Bed
November 26th, 2014 | daily life parenting
We all know Jay and I didn’t turn out to be French Parents a la Pamela Druckerman. The vision sounded so nice: after eating a very adult dinner, the little ones loving the kale and trying everything, the kids trump off to their rooms, ready for bed. After books and kisses, no drama sleep while the parents have an adult evening.
Crying in Office Depot Aisle 8
August 28th, 2014 | daily life parenting
Back to school! Second grade started Wednesday and I dragged Shayla clothes shopping and to get a haircut, rituals that feel as important as they are trivial. Why do we buy new clothes just before school starts? Our economy depends on us buying this stuff, but it’s deeper and more primal for me.
Our Historian
August 15th, 2014 | holidays and celebrations parenting
It’s been a year since we got married, and following a tradition I’ve heard about but never known anyone to actually do, we defrosted the top layer of our wedding cake and had it for dessert after dinner.
My Kids’ Berkeley
March 13th, 2014 | daily life parenting
When it comes to geography, I’m a cat, not a dog. I’m slow to settle in. When I moved from Texas to the Bay Area, I loved it right away, but it took me a year or longer to start to feel like this was my home. Smaller moves across the bridge to San Francisco in 1993, and back to the East Bay in 2009, produced a similar shock.
Being the Practical One during a Family Flu
February 17th, 2014 | daily life parenting
You know if you’re the practical one. You sense when it’s garbage night. You have the phone number for the kids’ dentist and doctor. If you and your spouse both have the flu for 15 or more days, you’re more likely to rise from a 103 fever and pick up the kids from school. We practical ones are just wired that way, and we must like it, though we also enjoy the odd whine about how responsible we are.
Staying with Joy
January 28th, 2014 | daily life parenting
Sunday was gorgeous in Northern California, weirdly summery and hot, and we were at a memorial for my friend Frank Sclafani, who died suddenly and unexpectedly in the fall, a young, vibrant 59, gone too soon.
Parenting in an Individualistic Culture
January 20th, 2014 | parenting takes a village
Before kids, I pined so much for kid time. The longing was profound. I’m so happy to have kids now, overjoyed! But I’m surprised how lonely parenting can be. It’s like we’ve stepped through this door into a different world, and I haven’t completely adjusted; I don’t know enough people in my new land.
Saved by a Walk in the Hills
January 5th, 2014 | daily life parenting
Everyone’s ready for school to start again. Each morning for the last week, about 6 am, Jaden gets right in my sleeping face and says hopefully, “school today?” Shayla is also sick of us, ready to see her friends.
What Yelling and Screaming?
December 27th, 2013 | parenting
“I love your blog, but you never have anything like this in it” Grandpa Mel said quietly as Shayla threw herself into her third round of violent weeping and begging for… oh I can’t remember what. To bring a toy with us? To get something from her brother Jaden or deny something to him? Hot chocolate before dinner, a puppy that poos candy? These scenes tend to be repetitive and it’s hard to remember the details.
Christmas and My Hamid Karzai Hat
December 13th, 2013 | holidays and celebrations parenting
I was smug at Thanksgiving when I didn’t get the bug going around. The kids puked onto me liberally, they spiked 103 fevers. I handled it calmly, even pleasantly, and I didn’t get sick. We had a nice Thanksgivikkuh! But if you believe in retribution, karmic payback came today. I got it, possible punishment for arrogance. 101 temperature, swollen lymph nodes. My volunteer duty at my daughter’s Pancake Breakfast tomorrow ruined.
Leaving Disneyland
November 19th, 2013 | daily life parenting
I was afraid my kids might not love Disneyland like I do, but they took to it like pros. Despite a full day drive there and back, long and unpredictable hours, more than usual sugar intake, and near-constant bombardment of stimulation, our five day trip went remarkably well.
Letting Her Be Her Own Girl
November 10th, 2013 | parenting
No one who knows her would call our daughter Shayla a wallflower. “She’s a fighter,” her first grade teacher told us in our parent conference, “and that’s a good thing. Sometimes in this world you have to fight for what you want.”
Shedding Their Skins
September 5th, 2013 | daily life parenting
Our 3 year old shot up three quarters of an inch in the last month, and has outgrown his pajamas, again. He’s 3’3″. The 6 year old hit 4’1″ and outgrew her car seat, so we took off the back and now it’s just a booster. It’s blindingly fast the way this flotilla of kid stuff becomes utterly obsolete.
It’s All So Interesting
July 24th, 2013 | daily life parenting waiting and wanting kids
I stayed up late finishing Meg Wolitzer’s The Interestings tonight, captivated by her lovely prose and the widescreen view she offers of a group of friends who meet as teenagers and stay involved through middle age. It’s such a gift, the ability to be so specific and detailed that there’s a simultaneous feeling she’s speaking of the universal, and about me.
Some Positive Points for Us
April 15th, 2013 | adoption parenting
We just switched our daughter from a “star/sticker” system to a “points/rewards” plan, and the difference is dramatic, in her and in me. I’ve decided it’s time to award myself some points! But first I should explain.
Once More Into the Breach, Dear Friends
April 3rd, 2013 | daily life parenting
I never imagined how often day-to-day parenting would feel like the battle scene that opens Saving Private Ryan.
2-Year-Old Lady MacBeth
February 12th, 2013 | parenting
Of all the tantrum-inducing opportunities life affords, I could never have predicted that our terrible two-year old would focus so much on hand washing.
First Snow
January 29th, 2013 | parenting
Just the thought of it gave me chills. It thrilled and excited everyone who heard about it. We were taking the kids up to the Sierras to see their first snow.
Essay on Camp
January 19th, 2013 | daily life parenting
No, this isn’t about Susan Sontag. It’s about how the kids change so gradually, even glacially, and suddenly something blindsides me and everything feels like it’s happening so fast.
Getting to Yes
November 26th, 2012 | adoption parenting
Our angelic “terrible 2”-year-old had a big breakthrough this week. He learned to say yes!