gay dads
Quitting
September 27th, 2016 | daily life gay dads parenting
Two recent endings have me feeling a bit deflated, though it’s been tough to figure out exactly why.
The Lady Makeup
November 4th, 2015 | gay dads holidays and celebrations
We were almost ready for trick-or-treating, but I could tell Shayla wanted to ask something. Her hesitation made it seem unlikely I’d be able to say yes. (No, we can’t take the pet rat with us. No, you can’t unstuff the couch cushons and use the fabric for your outfit. No, no, no….)
My Miranda July Superbowl
February 1st, 2015 | daily life gay dads holidays and celebrations
The best part about reading fiction, maybe any book, is the way a wonderful writer stays in your head. For a few days after finishing a book, it feels like I have some special goggles on, still half in the world of the novel.
Pondering Irrelevance
November 6th, 2014 | gay dads
Tonight I had the fantastic opportunity to attend the Out & Equal conference closing dinner,thanks to Jay’s connection Brigadier General Tammy Smith, the highest ranking openly lesbian or gay person in the US military.
Stranger in Strange Lands
May 5th, 2014 | daily life gay dads
Parenthood, I’m finding, is a trip deep into unknown territory, from playdate to PTA. There’s the thrill of easy membership: they just accept that I’m the dad here — no proof required. And the welcome shock of feeling “post-gay”: my primary identity in most of these places is Shayla or Jaden′s dad. Everything else is a distant second.
The Old Ball Game
March 9th, 2014 | daily life gay dads
I’d already gotten Shayla to the first practice of softball league, had put on my team shirt, met the coach, and offered to help carry up the equipment to the field when it hit me: I was a little league conscientious objector, and have never learned the rules of the game. I’d pray a ball never came my way, and finally pouted enough that my mom agreed to let me drop out. In basketball in middle school the other team would sometimes pass me the ball because they knew I’d just get flustered and pass it right back.
Unshielding Myself
October 1st, 2013 | daily life gay dads
The “season of marriage and adoption” has been incredible. I was shocked and thrilled when the New York Times ran our wedding announcement, and then the San Francisco Chronicle ran a beautiful story about our relationship, the adoptions and marriage. And with everyone giving us their blessings, I’ve felt so much love coming in from friends and family. It’s been a wonderful plenty.
More and More Married
September 26th, 2013 | adoption gay dads holidays and celebrations
I’ve been shocked by how changed I feel. I’m living with the same guy and kids, in the same place, same work, same dog, same cat. But a wedding, two adoptions, and a bridezilla reception has really changed how I feel in my life.
Love, Marriage, Kids
June 28th, 2013 | adoption gay dads
I’ve been dumbstruck by the supreme court ruling that ended up legalizing gay marriage in California. I knew it was coming. I expected jubilation, but have had a more complicated response.
More on Kindergarten
September 2nd, 2012 | adoption gay dads
It’s becoming clear that our daughter not having a kindergarten assignment is pushing buttons I wasn’t fully aware of.
But We Are, Blanche
August 11th, 2012 | daily life gay dads
The “no strollers” sign was a wake-up call. We’d managed to Yelp a family-friendly seafood restaurant and then Google Maps our way to it. (Why using simple tools that previously required absolutely no effort is nearly impossible with two kids is a mystery to me, but I swear it’s a real phenomenon.)
Quiet Before It All Changes: My Last “Waiting” Post
May 3rd, 2012 | adoption gay dads waiting and wanting kids
What a crazy system! I’m not sure I know a better way, but having “visits” and “overnights” and then taking the kids back to their current foster home just seems to upset them, and us. Change is hard, but now that it’s clear it’s going to go, my thought is we should just do it and get started on our life.
The Rejection: We Were So Close!
January 25th, 2012 | adoption gay dads waiting and wanting kids
Unfortunately this week a placement we hoped (and had been told) was very likely to happen fell through, for unknown reasons. Hopefully it was because of something positive for the kids like a better placement. Weirdly, we will never know.