One lovely, fairly reliable thing about hitting a low spot is that things shift, often right away. (Writing about it helps too!) Friends wished that perhaps a year from now we’d look back and laugh about our disaster Monterey visit, but after a what-kindergarten-is-our-daughter-going-to-in-two-weeks freakout and a couple good days with the kids, I already have…
The “no strollers” sign was a wake-up call. We’d managed to Yelp a family-friendly seafood restaurant and then Google Maps our way to it. (Why using simple tools that previously required absolutely no effort is nearly impossible with two kids is a mystery to me, but I swear it’s a real phenomenon.) We buckle the two-year-old…
My dad and stepmom are in town to meet the kids. It’s been wonderful to connect them to my new family. So primal! It feels strange that they’re “only now” meeting the kids, which shows how huge the last three months have been in my life—years worth of changes in a blink. No wonder I…
I stole away to bookgroup this week, leaving Jay and a friend watching the kids. What a pleasure to be with grownups, following the customs and traditions that until a few months ago were my primary ways of communicating and being with others. So what if we mostly talked about our kids. The comfort of…
It’s my ridiculous and persistent belief (or hope) that everyone is feeling just the way I am. Liking the same movies, digging the same books, feeling the same way about how the planet is going. The partner, of course, has it worst—all these dreams for enjoying everything together. Impossible, but unshakable. Of course we all…
Can I just say, I’m a little sick of hearing myself complain about my kids? Yes, it has been overwhelming, all-consuming, and much harder than I expected. Venting about the surprises, dramas, and relentlessness of it has been useful. As I’m learning from other parents, kids are often a big pain. But it’s insane that I’ve achieved…
It’s a simple request, that I come to again and again in this life. Can’t it always be like this? Can’t I hold onto this one lovely movement and keep everything just the same? That the answer is inevitably no does not sink in. We want what we want, no matter what logic and reality suggest….
I think it’s a great skill to be able to mirror, reflect back, and participate in the conversation. My verbal abilities have gotten me this far in life, and I think I’m good at listening to and talking with the kids. But sometimes I really need to shut up. This thought first came to me…
My mother had a rule while travelling: if an attraction had a star in the AAA Tourbook, we had to stop. Why would we leave a town without seeing everything the editors thought was worth a star? We moved quick, and we saw everything. On a 3- or 4-day trip to the Bay Area in…
There’s nothing like the sleepy, happy quiet that descends after all hell has broken loose, and things are restored. The crying stops, tempers calm down. You can hear small gusts of wind outside, the kids are asleep, and the last purple blue light makes everything through the window magical and gorgeous. Yes, we survived the…
A full week of fulltime foster parenting. Survived! Enjoyed! Endured! I feel muddle-headed, daunted, overwhelmingly thankful. Jay says it sunk in when they asked him to sign the “parent” line for a school form, and he thought “What? Sign as what?” For me it was making my way up the uneven stone stairs with a…
What a lovely bittersweet feeling to dig out the camping box before our recent, disastrous camping trip. The charred cookware, chipped plastic plates, and other musty survivors of outdoor adventures past are like a little hope chest. The wishes and dreams of the naturalist, the visions of perfect forest visits and lovely outdoor excitement, and rest. As wonderful as…
After wading through a couple very earnest books on adoption and parent-child attachment, what fun to come across Pamela Druckerman’s Bringing Up Bebe: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting. I love this book! It makes the French seem utterly sensible in their approach to children, and shows how nutty American kid culture has…
The Oakland Museum White Elephant sale was just the ticket today: an exciting crush of people stomping through a giant warehouse, celebrating great finds, pawing through toys, furniture, clothes, Christmas decorations, artificial flowers, sporting equipment, and more. I’d never heard of it, but it’s a longstanding fundraiser run by the Oakland Museum Women’s Board. I could barely…
My twice-yearly dental cleanings are an interesting opportunity to feel like a completely mediocre achiever. I don’t think I’m incredibly lazy, or unable to follow directions. OK, I probably don’t brush for the full two minutes each time, but I floss twice a day (always!), and I try the different techniques that have been offered–circular!…
We took a few down days, to process the adoption that didn’t happen, but then somehow swung back into action. Friends had offered to swap the adult bed we had in the kids-to-be room for these great bunk beds, but Jay felt we might be tempting fate by moving on the furniture before we were…
Eureka! Maybe fixing the small stuff is the answer to the big picture? For months, we’ve had a spotty internet connection. Super-fast when it’s working, then every X number of clicks, dead, nada, kaput. It’s intermittent; X can be 6, 10, or 30. Calls to Comcast, Vonage, and my psychic have made me feel better (especially…
How can it be that something that’s helped so much, again and again, could be something I put off, skip, and delay until the very last minute? Now, I’m not trying to convert anybody to yoga, and I don’t consider myself a total California granola type (some may wish to differ!). But for me yoga’s…
