daily life
One Small Success
October 13th, 2014 | daily life takes a village
A few weekends ago Jay gave me the wonderful gift of wrangling the kids while I did a daylong yoga retreat. It was unbelievably nice to have 8 hours at Green Gulch Zen Center in Marin, doing yoga and walking in nature.
Time, Again
September 15th, 2014 | daily life
I knew this would happen eventually, just not so soon.
My Four Year Old’s Art Photos
September 3rd, 2014 | daily life
I’m not sure these photos Jaden took today require much explanation. This is slightly more than half the images he took. The beauty can’t be random, can it?
Crying in Office Depot Aisle 8
August 28th, 2014 | daily life parenting
Back to school! Second grade started Wednesday and I dragged Shayla clothes shopping and to get a haircut, rituals that feel as important as they are trivial. Why do we buy new clothes just before school starts? Our economy depends on us buying this stuff, but it’s deeper and more primal for me.
Disaster Avoided, Again
August 24th, 2014 | daily life
A long, rolling shake woke us this morning, a mild but persistent earthquake. Google says it was a 6.0 near Vallejo. It must have felt big there, but I’m not sure I would have noticed if it weren’t for the sliding door of the closet thumping rhythmically.
Both Here and There
July 29th, 2014 | daily life holidays and celebrations
I was startled looking at the Target check-out belt: skateboard, knee- and elbow-pads, and pullup diapers, all for the same kid.
Art, Vacations, Summer
July 14th, 2014 | daily life holidays and celebrations
We frontloaded summer vacation this year, a week of family camp that’s a beloved tradition, then a week at the beach in Southern California, a chance to prove to the kids that you actually can swim in the ocean, and time to hang out with all the grandparents. It was sweet.
Half a Life Ago
June 12th, 2014 | daily life
Twenty five years ago this week my mother, quite ill in the hospital, had her 54th birthday. She’d had surgery to install a port for some kind of chemotherapy, but she never fully woke up, though she did say “balloons” sometime after she came back from surgery. We had, in fact, filled the room with balloons. It was one of the last things she said, and two days later she died.
The Gold Trophy
June 9th, 2014 | daily life takes a village
The whole “micro” softball season was focused on the basics: which base to run to if you hit the ball (first), how to hit the ball (swing), how to work on a team (hint: not everybody should run for the ball at the same time). Nobody kept score, and at the end of the game each team did a cheer for the other team. 2-4-6-8, who do we appreciate?
Facing the Truth and Moving On
June 3rd, 2014 | daily life
Maybe parenting is the art of the impossible. How do you balance these crazy opposites?
Stranger in Strange Lands
May 5th, 2014 | daily life gay dads
Parenthood, I’m finding, is a trip deep into unknown territory, from playdate to PTA. There’s the thrill of easy membership: they just accept that I’m the dad here — no proof required. And the welcome shock of feeling “post-gay”: my primary identity in most of these places is Shayla or Jaden′s dad. Everything else is a distant second.
Springggg Forward!
April 28th, 2014 | daily life
Like a cartoon character shot out of a catapult, we’re zooming through Spring. An intimate Passover Seder, a giant egg-dying-and-hunting kidstravaganza, and a million things in between. Will the dog’s eye require surgery? Should we give in and get Shayla a DS for her birthday? Is the kids’ mom alive, and would a visit be advisable? Does anybody make toddler pants waist size 5T, length 4T?
Time Zones
April 7th, 2014 | daily life
“Is Austin ahead of us or behind us,” my daughter Shayla asked.
My Kids’ Berkeley
March 13th, 2014 | daily life parenting
When it comes to geography, I’m a cat, not a dog. I’m slow to settle in. When I moved from Texas to the Bay Area, I loved it right away, but it took me a year or longer to start to feel like this was my home. Smaller moves across the bridge to San Francisco in 1993, and back to the East Bay in 2009, produced a similar shock.
The Old Ball Game
March 9th, 2014 | daily life gay dads
I’d already gotten Shayla to the first practice of softball league, had put on my team shirt, met the coach, and offered to help carry up the equipment to the field when it hit me: I was a little league conscientious objector, and have never learned the rules of the game. I’d pray a ball never came my way, and finally pouted enough that my mom agreed to let me drop out. In basketball in middle school the other team would sometimes pass me the ball because they knew I’d just get flustered and pass it right back.
Being the Practical One during a Family Flu
February 17th, 2014 | daily life parenting
You know if you’re the practical one. You sense when it’s garbage night. You have the phone number for the kids’ dentist and doctor. If you and your spouse both have the flu for 15 or more days, you’re more likely to rise from a 103 fever and pick up the kids from school. We practical ones are just wired that way, and we must like it, though we also enjoy the odd whine about how responsible we are.
Staying with Joy
January 28th, 2014 | daily life parenting
Sunday was gorgeous in Northern California, weirdly summery and hot, and we were at a memorial for my friend Frank Sclafani, who died suddenly and unexpectedly in the fall, a young, vibrant 59, gone too soon.
Saved by a Walk in the Hills
January 5th, 2014 | daily life parenting
Everyone’s ready for school to start again. Each morning for the last week, about 6 am, Jaden gets right in my sleeping face and says hopefully, “school today?” Shayla is also sick of us, ready to see her friends.
Leaving Disneyland
November 19th, 2013 | daily life parenting
I was afraid my kids might not love Disneyland like I do, but they took to it like pros. Despite a full day drive there and back, long and unpredictable hours, more than usual sugar intake, and near-constant bombardment of stimulation, our five day trip went remarkably well.
Unshielding Myself
October 1st, 2013 | daily life gay dads
The “season of marriage and adoption” has been incredible. I was shocked and thrilled when the New York Times ran our wedding announcement, and then the San Francisco Chronicle ran a beautiful story about our relationship, the adoptions and marriage. And with everyone giving us their blessings, I’ve felt so much love coming in from friends and family. It’s been a wonderful plenty.