You Can’t Go Home

November 29th, 2015 | daily life holidays and celebrations

We had a lovely Thanksgiving visit with Grandpa Ted and Grandma Mary, packed with adventure. We joined 40,000 in a downpour for the Austin “Turkey Trott,” the one mile kid version, raising funds for local housing and food services. The kids dug for genuine Texas dinosaur bone casts buried beneath a giant sand pit at the Nature and Science Center. We went to church and I visited with people I’ve known since I was 6 years old. We saw the Austin Zoo, a laid-back rescue presided over by wild peacocks, housing many exotic animals, and a very hungry horde of goats and llamas ready to chow down on the sold-in-the-office feed. We had a beautiful Thanksgiving by the lake, and my kids even jumped in to show those Texans what real aquatic courage looks like. Take that, Texas wimps. (There’s a sentence I thought I’d never be able to write, and it feels very, very sweet.)

Goodbye Mr. Bubbles

November 6th, 2015 | daily life

As Woody Allen put it, “If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.”

Animal Story

October 22nd, 2015 | adoption daily life parenting

In my (priviledged) experience, you have to look pretty hard in Berkeley to find somebody who’ll object to gays, or two guys raising children, polytheistic and vegetarian. (We’re actually omnivores, that last bit just an example). I don’t think my expressive dance therapy, Ojai psychic, or Reiki training could manage a rolled eye for at least 2 miles in any direction.

Getting Over the Hump

October 11th, 2015 | daily life

I don’t know if it’s because I tend toward the depressive, or if it’s just a human thing, but there’s a moment early in most projects when I feel pretty sure it won’t be worth it.

Flying, Prepared

October 1st, 2015 | daily life parenting

I thought I’d be one of those prepared dads, with a little pocket screwdriver, duct tape, some crayons and a bunch of grapes at the ready. But I often fail to have even the essentials.

Having Power

September 17th, 2015 | daily life

Yesterday there was rain in the air, and that’s a good thing for parched Northern California. But the gutters were choked with leaves, and I’d put off getting up there and dealing with it. I had two hours before my next client call, so I got the ladders and went to work against the elements, sweeping away a million little oak leaves, enjoying the dark, brooding sky.

My Life Not In The Theatre

August 18th, 2015 | daily life parenting

I had such a vision for my family enjoying culture and the arts. I’d get dreamy seeing young kids at the museum, or when friends brought a baby to a party. It gave me a refreshing hope that creative parents can keep their lives going and integrate the kids. If they can do it we can do it, right? Right?

The Baby

August 11th, 2015 | daily life parenting

I can remember only a few things about kindergarten. Making paintings with string, all of us in our painting aprons. Somehow getting poor Mrs. Gibson in a conversation about whether God exists. (She and my mother became lifelong friends, so whatever that was about they worked it out.)

Treehouse Summer

July 14th, 2015 | daily life takes a village

I love the cool, foggy Bay Area weather, but I lose track of the seasons. Rain means fall or winter, but chilly and overcast could be any day of the year. I wilt in real heat, but sometimes I miss signs of summer.

Camp Dreams

June 22nd, 2015 | daily life holidays and celebrations

One: Getting Here

It’s hard to remember, with the weeks of excitement and anticipation leading up to family camp, that what I should be reminding the kids, at least the older ones, is that the first day of camp can be tough.  Not for Jaden. Our 4-year-old is at home everywhere we’ve ever taken him. He gets right to work, charms all who might need to be charmed, and gets pretty much what he wants.

Please, Anybody But Me!

June 13th, 2015 | daily life parenting

I was startled today to realize that I’d been comforting my daughter for a few minutes without really taking in, or taking seriously, that the tragedy at hand was that she had to ride with me to swimming, not her beloved Papa. (“Not Daddy, noooo! I always have to go with Daddy! Why do I never ever ever get to ride with Papa?!” [Weep!] [Wail!])

Being a Dad Means Having More to Lose

February 21st, 2015 | daily life

The above is not a photo of tragedy, neither kid got hurt. But I can’t help looking at my son flying through the air and imagine crash landings and disaster. There’s been a lot this week reminding me how fragile and precious life is.

My Miranda July Superbowl

February 1st, 2015 | daily life gay dads holidays and celebrations

The best part about reading fiction, maybe any book, is the way a wonderful writer stays in your head. For a few days after finishing a book, it feels like I have some special goggles on, still half in the world of the novel.

Thank You for the Yucky Food

January 4th, 2015 | daily life parenting

I know it’s developmental. Kids are wired to be self-centered, and part of our job is to help them understand there are other people in the world. Sometimes they impress me, like when Jaden insists on bringing his big sister a treat if he’s getting one. Haircut lolipop? He’s got an absolute code of honor that he takes a second for his sister, asking nicely for it, and actually saving it for her. She manages to thank him because it gets more sugar into her system.

Growing Up Fast, Part 16

December 23rd, 2014 | daily life holidays and celebrations

My babies are growing up sooooo quickly.

Drawing the Future

December 12th, 2014 | daily life parenting

I’ve been thinking about a sketch I did years ago. In another life, really. Surrounded by sick and fearful friends, I immersed myself in what you might call the California New Age curriculum. We talked about our feelings, drew them, danced them. A skeptic would have a lot to make fun of. A believer could be changed forever. I’ve got both inside me, but on a good day the believer wins out.

The Family Bed

November 26th, 2014 | daily life parenting

We all know Jay and I didn’t turn out to be French Parents a la Pamela Druckerman. The vision sounded so nice: after eating a very adult dinner, the little ones loving the kale and trying everything, the kids trump off to their rooms, ready for bed. After books and kisses, no drama sleep while the parents have an adult evening.

Blue, and Red: I Am What I Drive

November 5th, 2014 | daily life

The day after the election and I’m feeling blue. As a kid we learned one did not discuss money or politics, period. So let me say something about cars.

Sign In Here

October 28th, 2014 | daily life

The kids were off to school, crazed about Halloween (Jaden: “Is it today?” Me: “No.” Jaden: “Is it the weekend?” Me: “No, it’s Monday.”)

Fall, Falls, Falling

October 20th, 2014 | daily life

Halloween and Daylight Savings time are sneaking up on us. Disney on Ice featured Cars, the Little Mermaid, and Toy Story. Actual cars, or actual model cars, zooming around the ice and acting out their parts from the movie.