My babies are growing up sooooo quickly.

I took Jaden in for his haircut and AJ said “he’s shooting up so fast, next to go are those chipmunk cheeks. Broke my heart when my baby lost his.” Four-and-a-half and the baby face goes? Please say it isn’t true.

Shayla is on the last kid’s shoe size, and can now wear a women’s 5. Can the Junior Miss section be long (if they even call it the Junior Miss section anymore–I might be dating myself). “Cheer up, it means she can get high heels now,” another mom informed us with a wink. Oh, no. No no no.

With their bigger bodies come some whole new attitudes. I’m comforted that all the second grade parents confirm our children are on a year-long mission: learn as many snarky, annoying phrases as they can. They test them out on us, and the ones that get the best reactions go viral within days.

I understand it’s her job to carve out her own space in the world, and she’s not going to make that omelette without cracking me open a few times. But still.

“Why are all the presents from Santa written in your handwriting?” Shayla asks, something between a smirk and a leer on her face. But there aren’t any presents from Santa under the tree (duh, it’s not even Christmas eve, I want to say but don’t), and it’s not even her own voice she’s delivering this line in. Clearly she’s testing out a tried-and-true jibe, and I predict this will go far among her peers. It hit a nerve without even being observably true. Yet.

Despite feeling punched in the stomach by this last one, I’m fine with whatever conclusions she reaches about the magic of Hanukkah, Christmas, and Solstice. But I predict by Christmas the coin will flip, and Shayla will once again be a true believer. Just as riding up out of the subway she can have on her “I’m so not with stupid” face, but melts into our little girl well before we hit the ice rink. “Daddy, let’s go out on the ice again!” she cries, and for a moment it’s easy to see her as 7-and-a-half, without the going on 13.

Happy Hanukkah and Merry Christmas everyone!