It’s true I never liked football, but I kind of liked that we would sometimes go to football games as a family. Did anyone tell me I’d soon be asked to drive the kids to games, drop off, and please, please not stay?

OK, the truth is yes. You warned me, but I didn’t believe it. You were all right.

I put together a little quiz about teens. Don’t be fooled, there’s no winning!

  1. Which of the following will I never get back?
    1. My best toenail clippers.
    2. All the charging cables.
    3. My favorite pens and office supplies.
    4. The neck massager.
    5. All of it, I am never going to see any of this again, and should be glad I forgot about the rest.
  2. Where do I have to drive my kid this week?
    1. The orthodontist.
    2. Rugby.
    3. A football game I’m not supposed to attend.
    4. School.
    5. Social engagements.
    6. All of the above.
  3. What is the Vice-Principal or teacher concerned about and the reason for the call?
    1. My teen’s phone use.
    2. Missing math assignment
    3. Contraband in the backpack.
    4. Also would I like to volunteer at the Fall Festival?
  4. What amazes me that the Vice-Principal doesn’t call about:
    1. How my teen dresses, which could get you expelled in the 80s.
    2. My teen’s manners. Adults claim my kids are respectful and friendly. Huh!
  5. Now that they’re so snarly, at least they’ll eat real food right?
    1. Yes, but not the same as their sibling.
    2. Maybe, but only late at night so the only evidence will be the wrappers, empty containers, and spills.
    3. “Dad! Why did you make that when we just had it last Tuesday?”
  6. What’s the best part about teens needing to be on their own all the time?
    1. Having time to start the new Elizabeth Strout novel Lucy by the Sea on the day it comes out.
    2. Catching up on every episode of The Mandalorian, The Old Man, Minx, Sex Education, United Shades of America and more.
    3. Getting a few years to adjust to the idea that it’s time for some new hobbies.

As always, it’s all of the above and more. All I can manage plus some. As my dad would say, “things are looking up.”