While I’m sure I’ve tried everyone’s patience going over my angst and excitement waiting for kids (and I reserve the right to continue complaining as necessary), I feel it’s also important to keep a little perspective. These are good problems to have.

Of course it’s silly to try and say one issue is harder or easier than another. As the wonderful author Stephen Levine pointed out in a workshop I attended years ago, it’s foolish to rank feelings. What breaks your heart breaks it, from a kid losing her favorite goldfish to a grownup losing a spouse. With grief, it doesn’t matter how “important” the cause may seem to others.

But still I’d have to guess that the anxiety and rollercoaster of the feelings we’ve been having anticipating these kids — what ages? when? who? — must pale compared to the unbelievably wild act of actually growing a baby in your body. I mean there’s the glow, and lots of positive excitement. But there’s also (I’m told) the exertion of climbing a mountain every day, and a bewildering range of hormones. All all the unknowns that such a monumental undertaking includes.

Depending on where you count from, we’re either right at or a little past 9 months of the sustained part of our quest. But even if we put in a lot more time, I still think compared to actually birthing the baby, we’ve got it relatively easy. (I have craved the occasional pickle, and also see above where I reserve the right to continue to complain nonetheless).

But really all the parental woes pale in comparison to what our future kids must be going through. Yeah, we’ve got big uncertainties. But we’ve also got the excitement of anticipating a new family, and the comforts of our friends, community, home. They’ve got–well, I don’t know what they’ve got. I hope and pray it’s not just awful, but they’re not yet here. And I’m not sure I’ll be able to completely rest easy until they hurry it up and arrive.

So here’s sending out a good thought to the kids out there who may soon need (or need now!) another home. To our future kids, I hope you’re feeling some love, safety, and comfort. And I can’t wait for you to get here!