What a journey!

A year feels like a blink for me these days, but it’s quite a span for the teens. In the 18 or so months from the first college visits to decision season, I’ve seen my daughter Shayla transform, once again. During the first campus visit we sat in on a brief lecture and she asked in a withering, can’t believe it tone, “Is this what college is?” I thought, oh no, she is not ready. This is not going to work.

I don’t think she thought it would happen either. It’s ok, I told myself, there are other paths.

But somehow the process changed her, charmed her really: researching schools and then visiting them, putting together application essays and lists of activities, seeing different places, all guided by friend and fantastic college consultant Robin Levi and helped along by a year’s brain growth.

When we visited the University of Redlands last fall, well over a year into the process, seated in front of a panel of professors who spoke earnestly about the school, its commitment to student achievement and community service, I had a stress flashback. This is not going to fly. But coming out of the session, Shayla was lit up. “I think this is the place,” she said. A freshman dorm tour of an uninspiring cinderblock building and a lackluster D3 football game that didn’t go well for the Bulldogs did not deter her. From that moment, she could see herself there. When we attended Admitted Student day 4 months later, and she learned that the multi-disciplinary Johnston Center also offered housing on campus, the deal was done. (“It’s a commune!” cried Uncle Kenny excitedly, and he’s not wrong. Picture the cast of Hair! running their own academic studies program and you’d be exaggerating slightly, but on the right track.)

Let’s just say that I did not expect my daughter to become fired up about social justice, eager to learn about mental health projects, and doing data mapping of the last decade’s homeless counts in our county. I didn’t think an eclectic, progressive community within an innovative liberal arts school, so exciting to me, would appeal to her.

I guess as has often happened, my old pictures were clouding the view of who she is today, and who she’s becoming.

As graduation 2025 nears, and my restless mind jumps to fears about a partially empty nest, and the challenges and opportunities facing these kids who have to take over this planet and make things right, there is within me a tiny warm center of calm and happiness. We’ve done ok so far. We’ve made it this far, and there’s every indication that the next generation is going to do great things. Congratulations, graduates!