The Fun Side of Waiting

The Fun Side of Waiting

While it’s easy to focus on the worry and planning and unknown part of not yet having our family — or, you could say, of not yet being in our future — anticipation can be fun as well.

Before going into what’s nice about anticipating having kids, I should explain that Jay and I sometimes joke about our potential¬†retirement careers. This is partially a fun what-if game, inspired by friends who’ve done cool things as second or third careers. But also it’s a way to blow off steam when work’s stressful or the daily grind gets one of us down. Currently for our “next” careers we’ve settled on running an elephant and monkey rescue. (He’ll focus on the elephants, me on the monkeys, though hopefully over time the monkeys and elephants would become quite fond of each other too.)

I think it’s self-evident what great fun a monkey-elephant rescue would be, but the video story about a rescued elephant who befriends a dog (at the end of this post) will convince any doubters that this is quite possibly the greatest thing we could do in our golden years. But that’s getting ahead of things, way ahead!

Back to today. I realized when Jay gave me a little stuffed monkey and elephant for my birthday, that our recent jokes and discussions about the joys (and challenges) of running our fantasy wildlife rescue are also a fun way of dealing with the excitement and anticipation of being dads-to-be. Having no idea the gender or any other configuration our family will take, I’m pretty sure that our visions of primate-pachyderm¬†chaos might not be too far off the mark from scenes with actual children running about.

I remember in particular some friends’ kids chasing me around the living room with some animal bone in a joyful crazed pack–that kind of thing. It’s a sweet memory, and also probably a glimpse our future.

But what’s kind of fun about the anticipation is the now of it–right now, getting lovely, quiet time to imagine how I want to be with my kids, with the world and myself for that matter. Daydreaming of what might be is delicious, and doesn’t really need that exact thing to happen.

Though I’m counting on the elephants. Here’s the video:

2011-12-05T14:00:27+00:00 November 24th, 2011|waiting and wanting kids|10 Comments


  1. Mickey Ellinger November 27, 2011 at 5:13 pm - Reply

    David and Jay,
    Some of us semi-pro non-parents are eagerly awaiting our chance to meet your new family when it comes into existence, and to meet you as parents. Hugs and kisses.

    • David November 27, 2011 at 5:55 pm - Reply

      Thank you Mickey! We’re aspiring to semi-pro… and can’t wait for you to meet them (when they show up).

  2. Kalen Hoyle November 27, 2011 at 6:06 pm - Reply

    I haven’t read any of your blogs, but I am an adoptive mom to a little girl from China. I am saying a little prayer for your process. It isn’t easy, but it is worth it. Keep on trucking…

    • David November 27, 2011 at 8:38 pm - Reply

      Thank you Kalen!

  3. Julie November 28, 2011 at 8:37 am - Reply

    David and Jay,
    The luckiest…. right child or children will be in your lives before you know it and….. you will be wishing you had the time to write! David – wow, you are quite the writer. Look forward to hearing next blog.
    – J

    • David November 28, 2011 at 8:40 am - Reply

      Thank you so much Julie! Yes, I do believe the right kids will show up when it’s time… thanks for your encouragement!

  4. Kate December 1, 2011 at 6:11 pm - Reply

    Just stumbled on your blog via production not reproduction. We’re a lesbian couple who waited 6 years to become parents…and reading your recent posts about being around kids and wanting kids, you seem to have nailed what no-one ever tells you: It is so damn much fun to be a parent. Not a single day goes by without me laughing with our daughter. Hope your wait is a short one; fingers crossed for you guys.

    • David December 2, 2011 at 10:02 am - Reply

      Kate, thank you very much! Your encouragement is appreciated!

  5. Lindsay December 10, 2011 at 5:14 pm - Reply

    Wanting to “…be in our future” is such a right-on way of explaining The Wait. Your blog is great and you seem like lovely people. We’re waiting as well and I enjoy making your blog part of my daily distractions. So thanks!

    • David December 11, 2011 at 8:15 pm - Reply

      Hey Lindsay, thanks so much, and good luck on your wait as well!

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