OK, guilty. I was checking out Smash this week (will the sensitive brunette or the bombshell blonde be picked to play Marilyn?).
There were Debra Messing and Brian d’Arcy James, struggling with the long, long wait they’ve been facing in their adoption. Should he go back to work, should they wait longer for the baby?
Then on Modern Family Cam and Mitchell are debating using a surrogate (their friends did), since their second adoption is taking so long. They decide no (after learning about “the swirl” as a method to not be sure which is the father), and in both shows the couple decides to stick with their adoption plan.
It was a shock to see our own drama on the little screen, and fun! (Though I was sorry Smash didn’t do a musical number about it.)
Besides escapist TV, I’ve been reading up. Adopting: Sound Choices, Strong Families, recommended by Kate in her comment a few posts ago, had some really good information, though I can’t say it was a thrilling read. But lots of great points. My favorite was that pregnancy is a natural way to force about-to-be families into a quieter, more introspective place in a way that helps them prepare for baby and be ready to be more focused on home. Interestingly, in a parallel way, a lot of soon-to-be adoptive families have a sort of “circling the wagons” response to waiting and waiting, that results in a similar outcome. No pickles and ice cream, but we’re definitely more home-bound, and maybe more ready for these kids when they show up.
I’m just getting into Michael Gurian’s Nurture the Nature: Understanding and Supporting Your Child’s Unique Core Personality, which is wonderful. While Gurian’s not focused on adoption specifically, his thesis really makes sense to me—he says our stressed-out, overbooked kids are victim to a “one size fits all” view of childhood success that’s great for consumerism but unlikely to help. In fact I think he’s pretty convincing that in the name of adult success, lots of us are pushing our children into unhealthy amounts of stress, reducing their quality of life and resiliency and not working with their core needs and strengths. He’s inspiring me that more people are thinking about how to create a really great culture for kids that’s not screen-focused (TVs, video games, etc) and not just a drudging slog through academic torture either. I mean, it’s supposed to be fun to be a kid, and a family. Right?
If you’re guessing there’s no news this week, you’d be mostly right. We’ve been submitted for some kids, we’re waiting to hear. I continue to feel, any day now, things could be very, very different.