waiting and wanting kids

It Was the Comcast DNS Server!

2017-05-18T14:49:56+00:00 January 16th, 2012|daily life, waiting and wanting kids|

Eureka! Maybe fixing the small stuff is the answer to the big picture? For months, we've had a spotty internet connection. Super-fast when it's working, then every X number of clicks, dead, nada, kaput. It's intermittent; X can be 6, 10, or 30. Calls to Comcast, Vonage, and my psychic have made me feel better (especially [...]

Conversations with My (Future) Kids

2017-05-18T14:49:58+00:00 January 11th, 2012|waiting and wanting kids|

While there's no actual news, I continue to feel we might be on the verge of something happening. Wishful thinking, or wise intuition? You decide. I've been re-reading some journal entries I wrote this year.  Here's one from June: Hey Kids, This is the first time I've written you, though I've thought and dreamed about [...]

An Unearned Feeling of Hope

2017-05-18T14:50:03+00:00 January 7th, 2012|holidays and celebrations, waiting and wanting kids|

Is it just the slightly longer days, or has something shifted and lifted? I'd say things are looking up. A caveat: Jay will tell you "things are looking up" can be used in my family after the worst announcements. For us, he claims, news of an ill relative, setback, stress or disappointment is followed by "but things are [...]

The Hardest Part: Saying No

2017-05-18T14:50:07+00:00 January 2nd, 2012|adoption, waiting and wanting kids|

Is it amazing, or predictable? After giving up on anything happening during the holidays, we were asked if we'd take an infant. New year's eve-eve, as we were leaving town for a few days away. The baby had to be picked up that day. We'd heard of these situations. One of us heads to Target [...]

Magic Works Its… Magic

2011-12-20T15:38:04+00:00 December 20th, 2011|holidays and celebrations, waiting and wanting kids|

How do the pre-solstice, deep-in-winter, wanna hibernate blues lift? It's magic. Yes, recently I've lost heart, not fully, but in little bursts that slowed me down and kept me sidelined. Little lingering cold. Too much to do. Kinda blah. Nothing seemed to help. Nothing! Even yoga, which usually does wonders. Even spending time with both [...]

Saved Again by Yoga

2017-05-18T14:50:16+00:00 December 8th, 2011|daily life, waiting and wanting kids|

How can it be that something that's helped so much, again and again, could be something I put off, skip, and delay until the very last minute? Now, I'm not trying to convert anybody to yoga, and I don't consider myself a total California granola type (some may wish to differ!). But for me yoga's [...]

Good Problems

2011-11-30T15:39:03+00:00 November 30th, 2011|adoption, waiting and wanting kids|

While I'm sure I've tried everyone's patience going over my angst and excitement waiting for kids (and I reserve the right to continue complaining as necessary), I feel it's also important to keep a little perspective. These are good problems to have. Of course it's silly to try and say one issue is harder or [...]

Thankful at Last

2011-12-04T22:20:51+00:00 November 27th, 2011|holidays and celebrations, waiting and wanting kids|

I love all of the holidays, and always have. My mother made my brother and I hunt for Easter Eggs every spring until I was in my 20s. As long as she lived, the holidays were enforced, in a good way. Since we've set out in earnest to adopt kids, I've looked forward to enforcing holiday celebrations [...]

The Fun Side of Waiting

2011-12-05T14:00:27+00:00 November 24th, 2011|waiting and wanting kids|

While it's easy to focus on the worry and planning and unknown part of not yet having our family -- or, you could say, of not yet being in our future -- anticipation can be fun as well. Before going into what's nice about anticipating having kids, I should explain that Jay and I sometimes [...]

Best Camping Trip Ever

2017-05-18T14:50:23+00:00 November 20th, 2011|waiting and wanting kids|

Part of deciding I really, really was sure I wanted kids has been reviewing my fondest memories with my godson and other friends' kids. Of course I've thought about the tantrums, messes, and frustrations too. If anything I've thought most about those, since I've been "on the alert" for any sign I might not be [...]

A Very Long Ache

2017-05-18T14:50:29+00:00 November 16th, 2011|waiting and wanting kids|

For as long as I can remember, I've always had a tiny, bittersweet heartache at the site of parents with their kids. Usually it's in the background--far below the smile at the smear of peanut-butter, the laugh at a child's funny expression or even a colorful tantrum. I love seeing people and their kids, it's a [...]