Eureka! Maybe fixing the small stuff is the answer to the big picture? For months, we've had a spotty internet connection. Super-fast when it's working, then every X number of clicks, dead, nada, kaput. It's intermittent; X can be 6, 10, or 30. Calls to Comcast, Vonage, and my psychic have made me feel better (especially [...]
While there's no actual news, I continue to feel we might be on the verge of something happening. Wishful thinking, or wise intuition? You decide. I've been re-reading some journal entries I wrote this year. Here's one from June: Hey Kids, This is the first time I've written you, though I've thought and dreamed about [...]
Is it just the slightly longer days, or has something shifted and lifted? I'd say things are looking up. A caveat: Jay will tell you "things are looking up" can be used in my family after the worst announcements. For us, he claims, news of an ill relative, setback, stress or disappointment is followed by "but things are [...]
Is it amazing, or predictable? After giving up on anything happening during the holidays, we were asked if we'd take an infant. New year's eve-eve, as we were leaving town for a few days away. The baby had to be picked up that day. We'd heard of these situations. One of us heads to Target [...]
How do the pre-solstice, deep-in-winter, wanna hibernate blues lift? It's magic. Yes, recently I've lost heart, not fully, but in little bursts that slowed me down and kept me sidelined. Little lingering cold. Too much to do. Kinda blah. Nothing seemed to help. Nothing! Even yoga, which usually does wonders. Even spending time with both [...]
I believe in magical thinking, and I try to never say never. But. But. But. I have to admit, we're not going to get kids this year, not before Hanukkah, Christmas, or New Years. Nope. I guess I was overly optimistic. Hearing how many tens of thousands of kids are in need of a permanent [...]
How can it be that something that's helped so much, again and again, could be something I put off, skip, and delay until the very last minute? Now, I'm not trying to convert anybody to yoga, and I don't consider myself a total California granola type (some may wish to differ!). But for me yoga's [...]
While I'm sure I've tried everyone's patience going over my angst and excitement waiting for kids (and I reserve the right to continue complaining as necessary), I feel it's also important to keep a little perspective. These are good problems to have. Of course it's silly to try and say one issue is harder or [...]
I love all of the holidays, and always have. My mother made my brother and I hunt for Easter Eggs every spring until I was in my 20s. As long as she lived, the holidays were enforced, in a good way. Since we've set out in earnest to adopt kids, I've looked forward to enforcing holiday celebrations [...]
While it's easy to focus on the worry and planning and unknown part of not yet having our family -- or, you could say, of not yet being in our future -- anticipation can be fun as well. Before going into what's nice about anticipating having kids, I should explain that Jay and I sometimes [...]
Part of deciding I really, really was sure I wanted kids has been reviewing my fondest memories with my godson and other friends' kids. Of course I've thought about the tantrums, messes, and frustrations too. If anything I've thought most about those, since I've been "on the alert" for any sign I might not be [...]
For as long as I can remember, I've always had a tiny, bittersweet heartache at the site of parents with their kids. Usually it's in the background--far below the smile at the smear of peanut-butter, the laugh at a child's funny expression or even a colorful tantrum. I love seeing people and their kids, it's a [...]