daily life

My Month Off Facebook

2017-12-29T15:37:59+00:00 December 29th, 2017|daily life|

It was an impulse, unplanned, but in retrospect inevitable. This had been coming. In early December I deleted Facebook off my phone. There were a lot of reasons. For one, it was taking too much time. I enjoy keeping up with friends and their kids, pets, hobbies and vacations. But I was getting more (and more distracting) [...]


2017-10-14T03:20:15+00:00 October 14th, 2017|daily life|

My mother lived only 2 days into her 54th year, and the end of her life was a case study of how we sometimes ramp up, into expensive and invasive treatment and activity, just when some softening and easing would be perfect. "We'll fight this and beat this" has its place, but the push and [...]

Cub Scouts and Knausgaard

2017-10-03T20:54:12+00:00 October 3rd, 2017|daily life, parenting|

Really all I need is a simple way back to now. And I need it again, and again, and again. When I escape the trap of my worries, the real world seems so solid and beautiful. I find myself Assistant Scout Master for my son's pack, or pride or den, whatever it's called. First grade is [...]

Remembering Finnegan, 2001 – 2017

2017-07-24T16:31:53+00:00 July 24th, 2017|daily life|

Finnegan was 16 and a half years old, which is quite up there for a Jack Russell Terror Terrier. Most of his life he was everything you’d expect: feisty and full of bravado, snuggly and in need of comfort. Jay says that as a puppy Finnegan charged out into the back yard, barking fiercely and [...]

Summer Fever Dream

2017-06-08T15:14:21+00:00 June 8th, 2017|daily life|

We've needed rain so much, and the Spring delivered. Rain, and rain, and more rain. We're headed into the dry season but the plants are gloriously happy. The pollen shimmers in the warming air, and as the kids' summer break speeds towards me I find myself in a strangely frantic lethargy. There's so much to [...]

Don’t Just Do Something, Stand There

2017-05-29T21:29:45+00:00 May 29th, 2017|daily life|

I've been worried about Dad. He's having progressive short-term memory loss. He's feeling woozy and dizzy. Of course he says he's fine, but he's not the most communicative person on the planet, so I worried there was more. Living half a continent away it's hard to tell. I arrived on a recent visit in high [...]


2017-04-05T21:29:40+00:00 April 5th, 2017|daily life|

Jay's aunt Leona Cohen passed this week. She was 91. The end was expected, but then it didn't come for awhile. She rallied and had a good period.  It felt like a surprise when she died on Sunday, but I guess death always feels like a surprise, unbelieveable even as it is unavoidable. The funeral [...]

Flu Dog

2017-05-18T14:43:52+00:00 March 17th, 2017|daily life|

I'm not sure about where a cold ends and the flu begins, but there's a pretty bright line when I stop making dinner and take to bed. My husband and kids were on their own for parts of this week while I've been in an altered state. It's a great time to have a dog. Even our new, bad dog [...]


2017-05-18T14:43:57+00:00 February 27th, 2017|daily life|

There's been plenty to have the winter blues about, this winter. Scary, out of control politics. Divided country. Too many dirty dishes, my daughter's book report is due, and it's not clear what's for dinner. I try to keep perspective, try to stay grateful for every wonderful thing I have. But there have been weeks, [...]

The Darkest Night

2017-05-18T14:44:02+00:00 December 21st, 2016|daily life|

Sometimes I feel at odds with the whole world, in ways large and small. They sell toothpaste now in these great little containers. It's revolutionary, no gross mis-squeezed tubes, just a simple, easy-to-use bottle. But a trip to Target reveals that almost nobody in the consumer universe agrees with me. The oldstyle tubes in boxes take up [...]

Fifty Three

2017-05-18T14:44:07+00:00 November 15th, 2016|daily life|

Some random thoughts on turning 53! I think frequently about the fact that I'm just one year away from the age at which my mother died. I know this doesn't have more than emotional power. Facing life threatening illness with my friends in my 20s taught me none of us can take a day of life for [...]


2016-09-27T19:00:37+00:00 September 27th, 2016|daily life, gay dads, parenting|

Two recent endings have me feeling a bit deflated, though it's been tough to figure out exactly why. First, I'm giving up standing at work, or at least most of the time. I'd had great hopes for the benefits (health! vigor!), but after more than a year trying it, I think it's mostly substituted back stuff [...]

Puppy Medicine

2017-05-18T14:44:15+00:00 September 19th, 2016|adoption, daily life|

It wasn't long after we started trying marijuana that we realized we wanted another dog. Even though the pot was being ingested by our elderly dog Finnegan, I'm sure more than one person hearing this news will think we're high on drugs ourselves, but no. (For the record, the canine cannabis is non psycho-active. You can read more here.) We'd [...]

My Dog’s Pot Club

2017-05-18T14:44:17+00:00 September 5th, 2016|daily life|

I’ve never been a big fan of marijuana. The couple times I tried it, decades ago, I had strong, unpleasant reactions. I’m told it’s exponentially stronger today, which sounds much worse. I have no particular feelings about its use, though stoner culture doesn’t appeal to my German Protestant work ethic. For relaxation (not that we [...]

Two Books

2017-05-18T14:44:30+00:00 February 19th, 2016|daily life|

As a somewhat introverted person, my different roles sometimes feel like parallel lives. I'm a father, a son, a husband. A web producer, geek, proud member of the PTA. I'm a gay man, a political moderate (not easy!) and have my level 2 Reiki certification. But perhaps my most solitary, private role is reader. Absorbed in a book, I [...]