My Bad
May 17th, 2016 | parenting
One of the perks of writing — and I guess parenting — is that I get to be right so much of the time, or imagine that I am. School dropoff is time for the adults to share war stories, and these don’t tend to paint our little dears in a great light. They’re headed to class, unable to rebut our stories. They’ve got reading journals, we’ve got email. For now, the power is not equal.
Time Out
May 15th, 2016 | parenting
I’ve stormed out of the house again. Standing by the garage, I see my neighbor up the street wrangling clippings into the green bin, and I think maybe I’ll head up there. Make conversation. But I’m not sure. There’s a wet dishtowl over my shoulder, and probably a fire in my eye. I might seem deranged. Perhaps I am. Have I been crying?
Four Years
March 27th, 2016 | adoption
We just saw Laurie Anderson’s lovely documentary Heart of a Dog, about losing her mother and her Rat Terrier Lola Bell, and obliquely about losing Lou Reed. It’s really about memory and loss and the strange business of being alive.
She Doesn’t Like Surprises
February 29th, 2016 | adoption
You can know someone for a long time and still not get it.
Two Books
February 19th, 2016 | daily life
As a somewhat introverted person, my different roles sometimes feel like parallel lives. I’m a father, a son, a husband. A web producer, geek, proud member of the PTA. I’m a gay man, a political moderate (not easy!) and have my level 2 Reiki certification.
Death and Cookies
February 5th, 2016 | daily life
The girl scout industrial complex landed this week and there was nowhere to hide. Of course it’s my own fault. Last year Shayla got excited and we sold lots of cookies. When the Troop needed a Cookie Manager, it seemed harmless enough. Why not store a few cookies in the garage and help out?
Getting My Walk
January 18th, 2016 | daily life
The rains keep coming, and if it’s not the full solution to our drought, it’s a step in the right direction. Besides, I love the rain. Nothing like a few hours of quiet, reading the paper, enjoying the rain outside… Oh.
The Hard Work of Good Fun
January 3rd, 2016 | holidays and celebrations parenting
I laughed out loud to read my friend Whitney’s caption under a delightful movie of her child sledding in snow. “This video is misleading,” she wrote, “Today has not been all fun and games.” While she’s always enjoyable to read (and her blog 510 Families is an East Bay must for parents), my delight was also because I’d been mulling over the grueling labor that makes a fun trip to Disneyland possible.
Happy 2016
December 4th, 2015 | holidays and celebrations
The Cheesy Holiday Letter Goes Online
You Can’t Go Home
November 29th, 2015 | daily life holidays and celebrations
We had a lovely Thanksgiving visit with Grandpa Ted and Grandma Mary, packed with adventure. We joined 40,000 in a downpour for the Austin “Turkey Trott,” the one mile kid version, raising funds for local housing and food services. The kids dug for genuine Texas dinosaur bone casts buried beneath a giant sand pit at the Nature and Science Center. We went to church and I visited with people I’ve known since I was 6 years old. We saw the Austin Zoo, a laid-back rescue presided over by wild peacocks, housing many exotic animals, and a very hungry horde of goats and llamas ready to chow down on the sold-in-the-office feed. We had a beautiful Thanksgiving by the lake, and my kids even jumped in to show those Texans what real aquatic courage looks like. Take that, Texas wimps. (There’s a sentence I thought I’d never be able to write, and it feels very, very sweet.)
Goodbye Mr. Bubbles
November 6th, 2015 | daily life
As Woody Allen put it, “If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.”
The Lady Makeup
November 4th, 2015 | gay dads holidays and celebrations
We were almost ready for trick-or-treating, but I could tell Shayla wanted to ask something. Her hesitation made it seem unlikely I’d be able to say yes. (No, we can’t take the pet rat with us. No, you can’t unstuff the couch cushons and use the fabric for your outfit. No, no, no….)
Animal Story
October 22nd, 2015 | adoption daily life parenting
In my (priviledged) experience, you have to look pretty hard in Berkeley to find somebody who’ll object to gays, or two guys raising children, polytheistic and vegetarian. (We’re actually omnivores, that last bit just an example). I don’t think my expressive dance therapy, Ojai psychic, or Reiki training could manage a rolled eye for at least 2 miles in any direction.
Getting Over the Hump
October 11th, 2015 | daily life
I don’t know if it’s because I tend toward the depressive, or if it’s just a human thing, but there’s a moment early in most projects when I feel pretty sure it won’t be worth it.
Flying, Prepared
October 1st, 2015 | daily life parenting
I thought I’d be one of those prepared dads, with a little pocket screwdriver, duct tape, some crayons and a bunch of grapes at the ready. But I often fail to have even the essentials.
Having Power
September 17th, 2015 | daily life
Yesterday there was rain in the air, and that’s a good thing for parched Northern California. But the gutters were choked with leaves, and I’d put off getting up there and dealing with it. I had two hours before my next client call, so I got the ladders and went to work against the elements, sweeping away a million little oak leaves, enjoying the dark, brooding sky.
My Life Not In The Theatre
August 18th, 2015 | daily life parenting
I had such a vision for my family enjoying culture and the arts. I’d get dreamy seeing young kids at the museum, or when friends brought a baby to a party. It gave me a refreshing hope that creative parents can keep their lives going and integrate the kids. If they can do it we can do it, right? Right?
The Baby
August 11th, 2015 | daily life parenting
I can remember only a few things about kindergarten. Making paintings with string, all of us in our painting aprons. Somehow getting poor Mrs. Gibson in a conversation about whether God exists. (She and my mother became lifelong friends, so whatever that was about they worked it out.)
Treehouse Summer
July 14th, 2015 | daily life takes a village
I love the cool, foggy Bay Area weather, but I lose track of the seasons. Rain means fall or winter, but chilly and overcast could be any day of the year. I wilt in real heat, but sometimes I miss signs of summer.
Skin
July 2nd, 2015 | parenting
Is it normal for parenting to feel like you’ve got absolutely no skin?