One of the perks of writing — and I guess parenting — is that I get to be right so much of the time, or imagine that I am. School dropoff is time for the adults to share war stories, and these don’t tend to paint our little dears in a great light. They’re headed to class, unable to rebut our stories. They’ve got reading journals, we’ve got email. For now, the power is not equal.
One of the perks of writing — and I guess parenting — is that I get to be right so much of the time, or imagine that I am. School dropoff is time for the adults to share war stories, and these don’t tend to paint our little dears in a great light. They’re headed to class, unable to rebut our stories. They’ve got reading journals, we’ve got email. For now, the power is not equal.
But when I arrived with my sullen daughter at school today I had to admit, this morning’s brouhaha could have been avoided.
Yes, I was up a bit late getting school ready: Book report diorama, soccer outfits, PE-day shoes. I filled in a zillion tiny raffle tickets, generously purchased by grandparents and aunts, kicking in enough per kid so they’d qualify for the first-level prize.
Yes, my daughter woke up grumpy, and when she saw that with these raffle tickets she will only win a flashlight (and not the 20 other fabulous prizes for selling more and more and more tickets), she kind of lost it.
So I was justified to point out that as far as I could tell she’d sold exactly 6 tickets, to her aunt, while I sold (or bought) the rest of them. But I should have left it at that.
Instead, when she came downstairs, supposedly ready for school, I couldn’t stop myself.
“Can you finish brushing your hair sweetie?” I asked. My voice may not have been sweet.
“I did brush my hair. For 15 minutes!”
“Hm, then it just looks tangly on the sides? Can you test it with a brush? Here.”
“No! I brushed it! I brushed it!”
“Will you please try, or do you want me to try?”
This is a familiar battle, and while the goal of having my child reasonably groomed and not completely feral isn’t crazy, it’s also true that I have a hair thing, when it comes to my daughter. The boys with long hair are allowed to come to class looking like Grizzly Adams. On a bad hair day. Is it fair to impose a stricter level on her? My husband has had to intercede somewhat frequently on hair matters. He sees, when I cannot, how sometimes my need to present the world a perfect, cheerful face gets put onto our daughter. I know! I have agreed to chill a bit on this topic (though I never signed anything).
I’m supposed to let good enough be good enough. But this morning, I didn’t manage it.
Anyone could have predicted her meltdown, and while I’d love to chalk it up to my grumpy kids, this one’s on me. This was not a fight I needed to fight. Can I please learn this lesson already?
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