Is there anything weirder than everything going right? It’s disorienting. I’m a little bit lost. Sure, I’ve got to wrestle health insurance for the kids. Adoption means they transfer departments, get new names, are “uninsured” as their old selves and put into a new program. It’s kind of a hassle. Also we’ve got to sort…
I’ve been shocked by how changed I feel. I’m living with the same guy and kids, in the same place, same work, same dog, same cat. But a wedding, two adoptions, and a bridezilla reception has really changed how I feel in my life. The power of ceremonies and traditions shouldn’t surprise me; there’s a…
It’s incredible how clueless, and then how wise, our kids are. Knowing our daughter for 16 months, some things are so transparent. After a disruptive event, like the social worker who removed her from her mom visits, or something happens very differently than expected, it’s easy to predict there will be a meltdown, and sometimes…
I knew our social workers were coming this morning. We were even dressed when they arrived, which isn’t always the case. I knew they were bringing paperwork, but I hadn’t really thought about it. The 6-year-old needed her lunch for camp made. I was trying to get the 3-year-old to use his proud new kid…
I’ve been dumbstruck by the supreme court ruling that ended up legalizing gay marriage in California. I knew it was coming. I expected jubilation, but have had a more complicated response. This is also the week we met with our adoption social worker. Similarly, it felt sudden, after more than a year of frustrating delays….
For twenty plus years, Mother’s Day has been bittersweet for me. It’s lovely to remember Mom, but because she’s gone it’s also a lonely holiday. I help celebrate my wonderful step-mom and friends who are moms. But my mom I celebrate privately, internally. Of course now I see this is small potatoes compared to what…
Huge news, the hearing was today, and the judge terminated the mother’s parental rights and set adoption into our family as the “permanent plan” for the kids. Now the adoption phase begins. This means a new social worker and I’m not sure what else, but it sounds like mostly dotting the I’s and getting everything…
We just switched our daughter from a “star/sticker” system to a “points/rewards” plan, and the difference is dramatic, in her and in me. I’ve decided it’s time to award myself some points! But first I should explain. A sticker on the calendar for a successful day was a zero-sum game; while the intent was to…
I’m not surprised, but proud as can be to report that the kids’ developmental assessments, required as part of the foster care adoption process, showed them to be completely age appropriate in their motor, social, and academic skills. Not surprised, because these kids’ resilience and ability to thrive has thrilled me since I met them. Despite…
Our five-year-old has a reliable reaction to any surprise in her routine.Something causes us to reverse activity 1 and activity 2. The place is closed. They’re out of her favorite X, Y, or Z. She is not pleased. Sometimes she puts on a grim face and powers through it. Sometimes there’s wailing. But it’s never…
We had three social workers visiting the kids one afternoon this week, and I was a mess. I realize that it’s time to deal with my authority issues. There are big things at stake, of course. About 18 days from now, a judge will settle the main legal question remaining before we can adopt the…
Our angelic “terrible 2”-year-old had a big breakthrough this week. He learned to say yes! I never thought about what a huge developmental leap this concept must be. Clearly, no is more compelling and immediate early in life; most of what happens to us just happens, so the need to reject the things we absolutely…
I grew up in Austin, Texas, live music capital of the country, so it was humbling to realize a few years ago that by far I’d seen local toddler band The Sippy Cups live more times than any other band my whole life. In fact, I had to admit they were perhaps my all time…
As part of the Open Adoption Interview project, this week bloggers who talk about adoption are interviewing each other. Here’s my interview of Meg, who writes FourWildBlueberries.com. She and her husband adopted two adorable kids at birth, and they maintain a relationship with the birth mom. Meg writes about adoption, family life, and amazing cooking…
Until today when I found out how easy it was, I think in the back of my mind I always worried about the medical instruction “induce vomiting.” But it’s really simple. When the 2-year-old gobbled up a bunch of his sister’s big plastic gemstones, I started rooting around in his mouth to get all the crap…
It’s becoming clear that our daughter not having a kindergarten assignment is pushing buttons I wasn’t fully aware of. Of course I am annoyed for her sake, having to make one more transition in a life that’s had too many. And it’s a pain as her parents, not having a school assignment. We can’t set…
Dropping her off for her first day of kindergarten was a shock. It was sweet, but like a punch in the stomach too. I can’t believe our 5-year-old is in kindergarten! She generally puts on a very brave face for the public, so she thoughtfully had her meltdown last night, crying because she missed her…
This week comes the hearing to determine whether the county will stop the reunification services for our kids’ birth mom. It’s the next step toward her parental rights being ended, which will free them for adoption. This is weird on many levels. First of all, we’re busy becoming a family, so the reminder that there’s…
It’s my ridiculous and persistent belief (or hope) that everyone is feeling just the way I am. Liking the same movies, digging the same books, feeling the same way about how the planet is going. The partner, of course, has it worst—all these dreams for enjoying everything together. Impossible, but unshakable. Of course we all…
