Can I just say, I’m a little sick of hearing myself complain about my kids?
Can I just say, I’m a little sick of hearing myself complain about my kids?
Yes, it has been overwhelming, all-consuming, and much harder than I expected. Venting about the surprises, dramas, and relentlessness of it has been useful. As I’m learning from other parents, kids are often a big pain.
But it’s insane that I’ve achieved one of my longest-held, most life-changing dreams, and all I can do is worry that there’s not time to fold the laundry. This miracle of resilience and the power of love is unfolding right in front of me. And I don’t want to miss it.
If I can be cured of my deep shame at saying weird things in public, anything is possible.
The kids’ attorney came to visit them, and he said he’d never seen them so relaxed and happy.
Our son cried when we left him with a sitter, the first time he’s clearly displayed he’s bonding with us.
We’re getting smiles, fond looks, little gestures that show the kids are settling in, and have picked us to be their parents.
We’ve been to countless fun parks and playgrounds, costly entertainment centers, and there’s still the planet’s best spot, Disneyland (maybe in 2013). Also we’ve explored the rocks and trees of our neighborhood with new eyes.
And what a gift this new perspective is! I’m usually easily embarrassed in public, but when our daughter insisted on trying to squeeze into a shopping cart seat, then complained loudly in aisle 8 that her vagina hurt, I got her out of the cart and didn’t think twice about the ongoing updates. (“My vagina still hurts” she told me and several other shoppers in aisle 10.)
If I can be cured of my deep shame at saying weird things in public, anything is possible.
So while I’m sure there will be future complaints, let me just say, this is the most fantastic thing that’s ever happened to me. I’m going to try to start enjoying it, really truly feeling the thrill of it. Just as soon as I get the laundry folded.
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