Shedding Their Skins
September 5th, 2013 | daily life parenting
Our 3 year old shot up three quarters of an inch in the last month, and has outgrown his pajamas, again. He’s 3’3″. The 6 year old hit 4’1″ and outgrew her car seat, so we took off the back and now it’s just a booster. It’s blindingly fast the way this flotilla of kid stuff becomes utterly obsolete.
“I Need to Be Connected to You”
August 19th, 2013 | adoption
It’s incredible how clueless, and then how wise, our kids are.
Watching from the Billboards Above
August 15th, 2013 | holidays and celebrations
As we drove to San Francisco city hall to get hitched yesterday, Jay was startled to see a billboard for the AVA apartments on 9th Street. And flabbergasted this morning to see an ad for Avah perfume in the Times. It’s not a common name to see in print—at least we thought it wasn’t—and we’d just signed paperwork giving our son the middle name Avram, after Jay’s mom Avah. (By Jewish tradition you give children a Hebrew name with the same initial as the honoree, at least that’s my Jewish-by-marriage understanding of it.)
On the Dotted Line
August 13th, 2013 | adoption
I knew our social workers were coming this morning. We were even dressed when they arrived, which isn’t always the case. I knew they were bringing paperwork, but I hadn’t really thought about it. The 6-year-old needed her lunch for camp made. I was trying to get the 3-year-old to use his proud new kid scissor skills on scrap paper or blank paper rather than furniture or clothes. Oh, and we’re getting married tomorrow, so there are a few details to deal with about that.
It’s All So Interesting
July 24th, 2013 | daily life parenting waiting and wanting kids
I stayed up late finishing Meg Wolitzer’s The Interestings tonight, captivated by her lovely prose and the widescreen view she offers of a group of friends who meet as teenagers and stay involved through middle age. It’s such a gift, the ability to be so specific and detailed that there’s a simultaneous feeling she’s speaking of the universal, and about me.
Love, Marriage, Kids
June 28th, 2013 | adoption gay dads
I’ve been dumbstruck by the supreme court ruling that ended up legalizing gay marriage in California. I knew it was coming. I expected jubilation, but have had a more complicated response.
Scootering to School
June 12th, 2013 | daily life
Most mornings our daughter dons her kitty helmet and rides her scooter to school, me trotting along beside her like a secret service agent keeping up with the presidential motorcade. We almost always make it before the 7:55 early bell, though sometimes it’s close. We line up with her kindergarten class, and the day begins; I wander back home, uphill, scooter and helmet in tow.
In Love with Chuck E Cheese
May 29th, 2013 | daily life holidays and celebrations
Why do I find Disneyland completely enchanting and mesmerizing, and even enjoy Bass Outdoor World, but get the creeps at Chuck E Cheese?
Sick Day
May 18th, 2013 | daily life
Today was the biggest event of the year at our daughter’s kindergarten. Spring Carnival! We’ve heard and talked about little else for weeks, selling raffle tickets, signing up for face painting duty, picking out the perfect outfit. What a surprise when the first thing that she did when we arrived early for carnival setup was barf. All over. Like a Disney version of the Exorcist.
Mother’s Day Blues
May 9th, 2013 | adoption
For twenty plus years, Mother’s Day has been bittersweet for me. It’s lovely to remember Mom, but because she’s gone it’s also a lonely holiday. I help celebrate my wonderful step-mom and friends who are moms. But my mom I celebrate privately, internally.
The Great Leap Forward
April 30th, 2013 | adoption
Huge news, the hearing was today, and the judge terminated the mother’s parental rights and set adoption into our family as the “permanent plan” for the kids. Now the adoption phase begins. This means a new social worker and I’m not sure what else, but it sounds like mostly dotting the I’s and getting everything in order before the finalization.
Some Positive Points for Us
April 15th, 2013 | adoption parenting
We just switched our daughter from a “star/sticker” system to a “points/rewards” plan, and the difference is dramatic, in her and in me. I’ve decided it’s time to award myself some points! But first I should explain.
The Deliciousness of Normal
April 5th, 2013 | adoption
I’m not surprised, but proud as can be to report that the kids’ developmental assessments, required as part of the foster care adoption process, showed them to be completely age appropriate in their motor, social, and academic skills.
Once More Into the Breach, Dear Friends
April 3rd, 2013 | daily life parenting
I never imagined how often day-to-day parenting would feel like the battle scene that opens Saving Private Ryan.
And Another Delay
March 19th, 2013 | adoption waiting and wanting kids
Our five-year-old has a reliable reaction to any surprise in her routine.Something causes us to reverse activity 1 and activity 2. The place is closed. They’re out of her favorite X, Y, or Z. She is not pleased. Sometimes she puts on a grim face and powers through it. Sometimes there’s wailing. But it’s never fun.
Ready for Fatherhood: I Did Not Steal This
February 28th, 2013 | adoption
We had three social workers visiting the kids one afternoon this week, and I was a mess. I realize that it’s time to deal with my authority issues.
The Joy of Water
February 26th, 2013 | daily life
One of the great joys of growing up in the Southwest was swimming. There were quite a few pools in our middle-class neighborhood and we were lucky to have one. Most summers I was in the water nearly every day. There were pool parties and Marco Polo, cake and ice cream for my brother’s birthday, sparklers on the fourth of July.
2-Year-Old Lady MacBeth
February 12th, 2013 | parenting
Of all the tantrum-inducing opportunities life affords, I could never have predicted that our terrible two-year old would focus so much on hand washing.
Loving “Outdoor World” and Other Fake Places
February 2nd, 2013 | daily life
I’ve driven by the Bass Pro Shops Outdoor World megastore on the way to the Sierras several times, but only last week did I stop. Wow! Now I’ll never not stop. I didn’t realize it’s not really a sporting goods store, but a themepark.