Sign In Here

2014-10-28T16:12:44+00:00 October 28th, 2014|daily life|

The kids were off to school, crazed about Halloween (Jaden: "Is it today?" Me: "No." Jaden: "Is it the weekend?" Me: "No, it's Monday.") In the couple minutes before my first work call I was trying to find the floor of their rooms, beneath stuffies, toys, and discarded clothes. Several feet of papers, games and [...]

Fall, Falls, Falling

2017-05-18T14:45:44+00:00 October 20th, 2014|daily life|

Halloween and Daylight Savings time are sneaking up on us. Disney on Ice featured Cars, the Little Mermaid, and Toy Story. Actual cars, or actual model cars, zooming around the ice and acting out their parts from the movie. If that's not dislocating enough, I'm reading The Bone Clocks by David Mitchell, and sneak-watching Orange [...]

One Small Success

2014-10-14T00:06:47+00:00 October 13th, 2014|daily life, takes a village|

A few weekends ago Jay gave me the wonderful gift of wrangling the kids while I did a daylong yoga retreat. It was unbelievably nice to have 8 hours at Green Gulch Zen Center in Marin, doing yoga and walking in nature. Besides being forced to exercise, which is awesome by itself, the yoga teachers I'm drawn [...]

Take Me to the River

2017-05-18T14:45:46+00:00 September 29th, 2014|holidays and celebrations|

I've always felt at home in the water, refreshed, reconnected to something at my core. In Maggie Shipstead's Seating Arrangements, there's this great passage: Whatever the root of Biddy's affinity for water, as long as Winn had known her, she had been able to submerge herself and come out, if not entirely healed, at least [...]

Time, Again

2017-05-18T14:45:48+00:00 September 15th, 2014|daily life|

I knew this would happen eventually, just not so soon. It was so appropriate it happened the night I went to see Boyhood, the lovely, lyrical film by Richard Linklater. It's a meditation on time and its passing, filmed over 12 years, following a boy from young childhood to college. I'd say it's impossible to watch this movie and [...]

Crying in Office Depot Aisle 8

2017-05-18T14:45:55+00:00 August 28th, 2014|daily life, parenting|

Back to school! Second grade started Wednesday and I dragged Shayla clothes shopping and to get a haircut, rituals that feel as important as they are trivial. Why do we buy new clothes just before school starts? Our economy depends on us buying this stuff, but it's deeper and more primal for me. I can only vaguely [...]

Disaster Avoided, Again

2014-08-24T04:45:24+00:00 August 24th, 2014|daily life|

A long, rolling shake woke us this morning, a mild but persistent earthquake. Google says it was a 6.0 near Vallejo. It must have felt big there, but I'm not sure I would have noticed if it weren't for the sliding door of the closet thumping rhythmically. It woke Jay as well. "That was a long [...]

Our Historian

2017-05-18T14:45:57+00:00 August 15th, 2014|holidays and celebrations, parenting|

It's been a year since we got married, and following a tradition I've heard about but never known anyone to actually do, we defrosted the top layer of our wedding cake and had it for dessert after dinner. It was delicious. Jaden loves cake, and somehow he talked me into putting Hershey's syrup on it, so he [...]

Both Here and There

2017-05-18T14:45:59+00:00 July 29th, 2014|daily life, holidays and celebrations|

I was startled looking at the Target check-out belt: skateboard, knee- and elbow-pads, and pullup diapers, all for the same kid. It terrifies me thinking of Jaden, my about-to-be-4-year-old, zipping around on a skateboard. But before you call the cops, I'll point out that he's made incredible progress on the scooter his Grandpa Ted gave him. And [...]

Art, Vacations, Summer

2017-05-18T14:46:02+00:00 July 14th, 2014|daily life, holidays and celebrations|

We frontloaded summer vacation this year, a week of family camp that's a beloved tradition, then a week at the beach in Southern California, a chance to prove to the kids that you actually can swim in the ocean, and time to hang out with all the grandparents. It was sweet. It was a relaxing blast [...]

Half a Life Ago

2017-05-18T14:46:03+00:00 June 12th, 2014|daily life|

Twenty five years ago this week my mother, quite ill in the hospital, had her 54th birthday. She'd had surgery to install a port for some kind of chemotherapy, but she never fully woke up, though she did say "balloons" sometime after she came back from surgery. We had, in fact, filled the room with [...]

The Gold Trophy

2017-05-18T14:46:04+00:00 June 9th, 2014|daily life, takes a village|

The whole "micro" softball season was focused on the basics: which base to run to if you hit the ball (first), how to hit the ball (swing), how to work on a team (hint: not everybody should run for the ball at the same time). Nobody kept score, and at the end of the game each [...]

Facing the Truth and Moving On

2017-05-18T14:46:08+00:00 June 3rd, 2014|daily life|

Maybe parenting is the art of the impossible. How do you balance these crazy opposites? On the one hand, my daughter's idolization of her mom is something she deserves to hold on to. She's lost so much, it would be cruel to take that away. On the other hand, the part of her that remembers [...]

Happy Mother’s Day

2017-05-18T14:46:10+00:00 May 11th, 2014|adoption|

Did you ever set out with clear sights and end up doing exactly the wrong thing? I've swerved with my 6-year-old, between working to help her face the tragedy of her mom, who not only can't take care of her, but can't even manage a visit or card, and letting her forget about it and just be [...]