My mother lived only 2 days into her 54th year, and the end of her life was a case study of how we sometimes ramp up, into expensive and invasive treatment and activity, just when some softening and easing would be perfect. "We'll fight this and beat this" has its place, but the push and [...]
Really all I need is a simple way back to now. And I need it again, and again, and again. When I escape the trap of my worries, the real world seems so solid and beautiful. I find myself Assistant Scout Master for my son's pack, or pride or den, whatever it's called. First grade is [...]
It's so hard to keep perspective. A cold and cough swept through the family, Jaden then me then Shayla, with 2.5 sick days and a sick weekend, which feels especially cruel. Jaden's better, but woke up grumpy. "Don't talk to me," he howled when I suggested he get dressed. Then he cried and cried when [...]
As an anxious person, I spend a lot of time trying to calm myself (and others) down. As a loving person I long to be in synch with and connected to people. I watch with envy those who seem calm and at ease with themselves, and strive to make myself that way too, but I'm [...]
We spent a week at a camp for GLBT families July 29 to August 6. Yes, 8 days of camp. Here are some notes and photos. Saturday Arrived with ash falling from the sky and the sun red from smoke. Hot as hades. They said a fire burning South of Quincy wasn’t moving this way; [...]
Finnegan was 16 and a half years old, which is quite up there for a Jack Russell Terror Terrier. Most of his life he was everything you’d expect: feisty and full of bravado, snuggly and in need of comfort. Jay says that as a puppy Finnegan charged out into the back yard, barking fiercely and [...]
This is the story of a confusing but important relationship. She created two of the best things that have happened to me, my kids. She gave them their lives, and perhaps some of their biggest life challenges. Her own life has been difficult as she tried to overcome addiction and other problems. Pregnant with our [...]
We're just back from a week at family camp. It was our eighth year, and there's much to love. For one, the corny entertainments. There are singalongs and sketches and silliness that benefit from being performed in such an improbable spot, tucked into the trees in the Sierra Mountain wilderness. There's barely electricity, but these [...]
We've needed rain so much, and the Spring delivered. Rain, and rain, and more rain. We're headed into the dry season but the plants are gloriously happy. The pollen shimmers in the warming air, and as the kids' summer break speeds towards me I find myself in a strangely frantic lethargy. There's so much to [...]
I've been worried about Dad. He's having progressive short-term memory loss. He's feeling woozy and dizzy. Of course he says he's fine, but he's not the most communicative person on the planet, so I worried there was more. Living half a continent away it's hard to tell. I arrived on a recent visit in high [...]
The speeding up of life has been well documented, but it continues to take me by surprise. Each annual event that comes along, Jay says "I can't believe it's time for that already, it seems like it was just a few months ago." Somewhere in a pile on my desk is the Haggadah Jay's dad created [...]
Jay's aunt Leona Cohen passed this week. She was 91. The end was expected, but then it didn't come for awhile. She rallied and had a good period. It felt like a surprise when she died on Sunday, but I guess death always feels like a surprise, unbelieveable even as it is unavoidable. The funeral [...]
I'm not sure about where a cold ends and the flu begins, but there's a pretty bright line when I stop making dinner and take to bed. My husband and kids were on their own for parts of this week while I've been in an altered state. It's a great time to have a dog. Even our new, bad dog [...]
No matter how routine life gets, adoption has some special spikes in the road that are as predictable as they are surprising. I doubt I'll ever be fully ready, but I'm getting better at it. All was calm, almost peaceful aside from the hectic pace of school, work, life. Kindergarten and 4th Grade rumbling along in [...]
There's been plenty to have the winter blues about, this winter. Scary, out of control politics. Divided country. Too many dirty dishes, my daughter's book report is due, and it's not clear what's for dinner. I try to keep perspective, try to stay grateful for every wonderful thing I have. But there have been weeks, [...]