The Good News Keeps Coming

2017-05-18T14:49:22+00:00 April 27th, 2012|adoption, waiting and wanting kids|

The placement date was set, about 3 weeks away, and we are set to do our first overnight tonight. Hooray! Oh wait, the placement date needs to be moved up two weeks. They're moving in next weekend, unless they're not. And we're going to be their forever family. Unless something weird happens in the legal [...]

Loving Someone We’ve Not Yet Met

2017-05-18T14:49:40+00:00 March 8th, 2012|adoption, waiting and wanting kids|

It feels like Spring, and I'm thinking about love. One thing I like about yoga is that there's lots of talk about the human condition. It's a little philosophy chat during your workout. Years ago a yoga teacher said "if you didn't get your chin to your legs, it's no big deal. If you did [...]

A Happy Retraction

2017-05-18T14:49:46+00:00 February 23rd, 2012|adoption, waiting and wanting kids|

We have a tradition in my family. As nerdy, techy, competent guys, the men in my family like like to be right. Often this is useful, because we do tend to know a lot about how electricity, plumbing, and basic mechanics work. But I've been known to be sure about things that might be a tiny [...]

The Rejection: We Were So Close!

2017-05-18T14:49:52+00:00 January 25th, 2012|adoption, gay dads, waiting and wanting kids|

Unfortunately this week a placement we hoped (and had been told) was very likely to happen fell through, for unknown reasons. Hopefully it was because of something positive for the kids like a better placement. Weirdly, we will never know. Sadly, instead of having great news which I've been going crazy hiding under my hat, we've [...]

The Hardest Part: Saying No

2017-05-18T14:50:07+00:00 January 2nd, 2012|adoption, waiting and wanting kids|

Is it amazing, or predictable? After giving up on anything happening during the holidays, we were asked if we'd take an infant. New year's eve-eve, as we were leaving town for a few days away. The baby had to be picked up that day. We'd heard of these situations. One of us heads to Target [...]

Good Problems

2011-11-30T15:39:03+00:00 November 30th, 2011|adoption, waiting and wanting kids|

While I'm sure I've tried everyone's patience going over my angst and excitement waiting for kids (and I reserve the right to continue complaining as necessary), I feel it's also important to keep a little perspective. These are good problems to have. Of course it's silly to try and say one issue is harder or [...]

Trying to Understand a Dysfunctional System

2017-05-18T14:50:18+00:00 November 22nd, 2011|adoption|

We're experiencing the most frustrating disconnect between the urgency we feel reading about children in the foster care system and the response of the system to these kids. I really don't think it's any one person, as the social workers we're working with clearly care about kids. Nobody gets into this work for the money [...]

It’s Not Because We’re Gay

2011-11-25T11:08:32+00:00 November 21st, 2011|adoption, gay dads|

Maybe the most surprising thing about our adoption journey has been how much being a gay couple seems to barely figured into it at all. Of course we don't live in a perfect utopia, and our foster/adoption agency has made it clear that some social workers representing kids still won't place with gay families. And there [...]

Training: The Big Scare

2017-05-18T14:50:24+00:00 November 19th, 2011|adoption|

OK, I understand that training for adoption and foster parenting has to kick you in the gut a little, to weed out those who aren't serious or prepared. But thinking back on our training earlier this year, I was not prepared for the grim, relentless focus on terrible situations and broken placements, violence, and trouble. [...]