A Happy Retraction

2017-05-18T14:49:46+00:00 February 23rd, 2012|adoption, waiting and wanting kids|

We have a tradition in my family. As nerdy, techy, competent guys, the men in my family like like to be right. Often this is useful, because we do tend to know a lot about how electricity, plumbing, and basic mechanics work. But I've been known to be sure about things that might be a tiny [...]

The Rejection: We Were So Close!

2017-05-18T14:49:52+00:00 January 25th, 2012|adoption, gay dads, waiting and wanting kids|

Unfortunately this week a placement we hoped (and had been told) was very likely to happen fell through, for unknown reasons. Hopefully it was because of something positive for the kids like a better placement. Weirdly, we will never know. Sadly, instead of having great news which I've been going crazy hiding under my hat, we've [...]

The Hardest Part: Saying No

2017-05-18T14:50:07+00:00 January 2nd, 2012|adoption, waiting and wanting kids|

Is it amazing, or predictable? After giving up on anything happening during the holidays, we were asked if we'd take an infant. New year's eve-eve, as we were leaving town for a few days away. The baby had to be picked up that day. We'd heard of these situations. One of us heads to Target [...]

Good Problems

2011-11-30T15:39:03+00:00 November 30th, 2011|adoption, waiting and wanting kids|

While I'm sure I've tried everyone's patience going over my angst and excitement waiting for kids (and I reserve the right to continue complaining as necessary), I feel it's also important to keep a little perspective. These are good problems to have. Of course it's silly to try and say one issue is harder or [...]

Trying to Understand a Dysfunctional System

2017-05-18T14:50:18+00:00 November 22nd, 2011|adoption|

We're experiencing the most frustrating disconnect between the urgency we feel reading about children in the foster care system and the response of the system to these kids. I really don't think it's any one person, as the social workers we're working with clearly care about kids. Nobody gets into this work for the money [...]

It’s Not Because We’re Gay

2011-11-25T11:08:32+00:00 November 21st, 2011|adoption, gay dads|

Maybe the most surprising thing about our adoption journey has been how much being a gay couple seems to barely figured into it at all. Of course we don't live in a perfect utopia, and our foster/adoption agency has made it clear that some social workers representing kids still won't place with gay families. And there [...]

Training: The Big Scare

2017-05-18T14:50:24+00:00 November 19th, 2011|adoption|

OK, I understand that training for adoption and foster parenting has to kick you in the gut a little, to weed out those who aren't serious or prepared. But thinking back on our training earlier this year, I was not prepared for the grim, relentless focus on terrible situations and broken placements, violence, and trouble. [...]