The placement date was set, about 3 weeks away, and we are set to do our first overnight tonight. Hooray! Oh wait, the placement date needs to be moved up two weeks. They’re moving in next weekend, unless they’re not. And we’re going to be their forever family. Unless something weird happens in the legal system, so we can’t quite say that, but kind of.
Clearly the hand of God and the hand of the social service system perform their mysterious work just out of sight, all the whys unknowable to us. But the what is thrilling: our kids are moving in! Our 3-times-a-week dip into peanut butter and silly dancing will soon be a daily routine. We’re so thankful to everyone who’s helped make it happen, including you our friends who’ve held us in your hearts and hopes and prayers.
The specifics are nearly mind-boggling. I guess I’ll have 10 years to wade through it, but one example for today.
Trying to get a clear name for certain decorative rubber bands for hair produced a Facebook crowd-sourced mass of disagreement on the difference between (and whether it’s appropriate to call it) a: scrunchie, knocker, hair ball, hair pretty, hair tie, pony-tail-holder.
Only my equilibrium and world view are at stake; I thought I knew the name for just about everything and could quickly get the name of anything I didn’t know. But growing up in a house of two boys, I now realize the taxonomies and philosophies of beauty are their own minefield I’m stepping into. In junior high a girl dismissively told me all boys had to do was put on the same dirty t-shirt and jeans they had the day before. I was outraged, as I matched my socks to my shirt, and certainly didn’t wear leftovers. But what I missed was that I could be fussy about my clothes and still live in this pool of enormous privilege: not much was expected of my fashion choices. Exhibit A, reluctantly, attached.
Clearly, I’ll have to up my game in many realms. I’m deeply grateful to everyone who’s willing to help us create our new family rules and vocabulary.
Now I’m off to get the kids for our first-ever overnight! If you see a blaze of glitter and hair bands, it just might be us. Please say hi!